Honor Me Read online

  My heart ached as I stared down at her. Suzy and I always had a passionate, lighthearted relationship—until now.

  “I’m just gross,” she whispered and closed her eyes, letting the tears spill down the side of her face.

  Every ounce of air I had inside my lungs evaporated. “Sugar, you’re absolutely stunning.” How could my beautiful, supersexy wife think that she was gross?

  “You’re just saying that because you have to. Look at me, Joey. I’m enormous.”

  “Suzy.” My voice was firm because I needed her to understand I was completely serious. “You’re just as beautiful as the day I rescued you on the side of the road.” She bit her lip and looked away. My thumb brushed against her cheek and I wanted to take away her pain and self-doubt. “I love you, Suzy.”

  “I just can’t.” She wiggled out from underneath me and started to struggle to the edge of the bed. Her belly had grown so large with the twins that she couldn’t get out without a lot of energy or help. “Fucking shit!” Her arms flailed, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get to her feet.

  I scooted over, about to give her a little help, when she turned to me and snarled, “Don’t.” I withdrew my hand. The look of a wild animal in her eyes had me backtracking. My sugary sweet baby girl had vanished, and the devil had taken up residence.

  After she climbed off the bed in the most ungraceful way, she scurried to the bathroom and slammed the door.

  Collapsing on my back, I stared up at the ceiling and exhaled. I wanted to take all of her pain, take the stress of the babies, and take everything away from her that was ripping her apart. The drawers near the sink in the bathroom opened and slammed. The water turned on and I heard her curse.

  I scrubbed my hands down my face because as soon as the word fuck left her mouth, I knew that something big was simmering under the surface. With the babies coming soon, we needed to settle this shit between us.

  I wanted my wife back, and I wouldn’t let her push me away for some crazy fantasy she had in her head that wasn’t my reality.

  Fuck Pregnancy

  Suzy

  My life had been taken over by the babies that grew inside of me. They were so large, I couldn’t see my feet or do anything without being reminded that I was as big as a freaking house.

  Being pregnant with Gigi was easy, and I thought this pregnancy would be the same. Little did I know that my guy would knock me up with twins. His sperm just had to be so strong that it found a way to hook up with two eggs and not the typical one.

  He was all perfection.

  I gained pounds every week while the little beasts grew inside of me.

  Him?

  Not an ounce.

  He still had his six-pack and bulging biceps. Beautifully handsome with his dark hair and turquoise blue eyes that saw deep into my soul when I looked at him.

  Every day when I glanced down at my ever-growing belly, I cursed myself. It’s one thing to be pregnant, and it’s quite another to let it get out of control. I felt, no matter how hard I tried to keep my weight under control, I just grew bigger.

  How could he love me like this? I stared down and tried to remember what it was like to see my feet on the ground. I’d hit Weeble-wobble status and I was sick of it.

  I lost it when we were having sex. How could he say those dirty things to me and mean them with how I looked?

  There’s no way my perfectly built husband thought I was as beautiful as the day we met. I was riddled with stretch marks and a stomach as big as a beach ball.

  “Sugar.” Joe knocked on the door while I sat on the edge of the tub, feeling sorry for myself.

  “Go away.” I already regretted the way I acted—storming off like an idiot and opening my big mouth in the first place.

  He didn’t deserve to be punished because of how I felt about myself. He’d never done anything to make me feel less than loved and adored, but it was too easy for doubt to creep in every time I looked at myself.

  “Open the door or I’m knocking it down.”

  “Are you going to yell at me?” I grimaced and waited for his reply, which I’m sure was about to go from upset to pissed off in a hurry.

  A loud thud sounded and I heard his voice clear as day. “Baby, I’m not going to yell at you. We need to talk.” The handle jiggled. “Open the door.”

  I pushed myself up, more like a contortionist than a woman, and reached for the door. “Oh, fuck,” I said before I could unlock the door, doubling over in the most extreme pain.

  Fucking hell—contractions.

  I hadn’t missed them. I would have liked to have said they were the worst part of labor, but when they cut you open to make more room for the baby… Yeah, that was the worst.

  I did my Lamaze breathing just as I’d remembered, and like last time, that shit didn’t work.

  “Suzy!” Joe shouted and turned the handle again. “Are you okay, baby?”

  Damn it. Hunched over in so much pain, I waited for it to pass before I could let him in. “My water broke. Gimme a minute.” I clutched the sink and breathed through the final moments of my first contraction.

  I could hear him breathing heavily, pacing outside the door separating us, and I was almost thankful to be in labor.

  I no longer had to explain my behavior.

  He’d flip out if I did. Joe loved me. He adored me. Cherished me like no man ever had, but being as big as a house and having two humans growing inside of me… I didn’t feel good enough.

  “Suzy!” He pounded on the door frantically. “Open the door!”

  “Coming,” I groaned, moving like I was walking on glass because I knew another contraction was soon to follow. I turned the lock, slowly stepping back to lean against the bathroom sink.

  He walked in and scooped me into his arms like I weighed nothing. “We’ve got to get to the hospital.”

  “Joe!” I squealed, panicked he’d drop me if I moved. “Put me down. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

  He glanced down with his eyebrows downward. He gave me a look like I was crazy as he placed me on the bed. “Wait here.” He raced around the room, grabbing the already packed suitcase from the closet. “Do you need anything else?” Standing there naked, his hair a mess, I couldn’t help but smile at his nervousness.

  “You need clothes, for sure.” I pointed at him, quirking an eyebrow as my finger drifted down to his beautiful, pierced cock.

  “Right.” He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up more, and scanned the room. “Fuck. I shouldn’t be such a mess. This isn’t our first kid.”

  “Nope.” I giggled when he grabbed whatever he could find and threw it on haphazardly. Everything that had just happened before my labor began was wiped away in an instant.

  He stood with his hands on his hips and his shirt half on. “How can you be smiling?”

  I looked, letting my eyes travel slowly up his body before settling on his handsome face. “You’re so adorable when you’re flustered.” My fingers curled around the edge of the comforter, and I readied myself for another contraction.

  “Baby.” Joe kneeled and rested his hands on my belly. “I don’t know what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours, but I won’t forget it. You have me completely thrown off. Hopefully, after these two little soul suckers come out, everything will get back to normal.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shifted and cradled my face in his hands before kissing my lips. “I can’t believe soon we’re going to have three little ones.”

  “I know.” I smiled and my eyes filled with tears, but not of joy… Yeah, I was happy, but the fear I had overshadowed it.

  What if I couldn’t be a good mom to three?

  What if I couldn’t be a good wife?

  My days and nights would be filled with feedings, diaper changing, and caring for the little ones. I couldn’t see Joe and me having a ton of time together with them around.

  I worried for us.

  What if I couldn’t be th
e woman he wanted and needed?

  Joe’s phone buzzed and broke the awkward silence before he had a chance to question me further. As he spoke to his mom, he kept glancing at me. I was never so happy for another contraction to start as I was when he hung up.

  My insides squeezed and I could’ve sworn the two monsters inside me were trying to claw their way through my abdomen instead of readying themselves for a trip the natural way. “Oh.” I blew out a breath, huffing with puffed cheeks. “God.” I sucked in quickly. In. Out. In. Out. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the edge of the bed and held on for dear life.

  “Let’s go, Sunshine.”

  “Gigi.”

  Out. In. Out. In. Hell, these were so much worse than last time.

  “Mom will get her from school later. I’m not taking any chances with you. Up.” He started to put his arm under my legs when I pushed him away.

  “No.” I shook my head and felt my muscles start to relax. “I’ll walk. I’m not having you fall down the stairs with me in your arms.” I held my hands out to him, looking for a little help.

  He grabbed my hands before he straightened and pulled me with him. “You never worried I’d drop you before.” He wrapped an arm around my waist like I needed his support to move.

  “I’ve never been this big before.” I placed my hand on my stomach and tried to remember what it was like to see my feet when I walked, but I drew a blank.

  “Stop talking like that. You’re stunning and carrying my babies inside you.”

  I glanced down at the floor to avoid his eyes. “Fine,” I mumbled. “I’m fat, but whatever.”

  “Sugar, when you’re healed, I think you need a spanking.”

  My eyes flickered to his and my cheeks instantly heated. The look in his eyes was one I’d seen before. There’d be hell to pay, and his torture implement would be his cock. “Yes, sir.” I couldn’t hold back my sarcasm.

  With his hand on the small of my back, he led me out of the bedroom and took each step with me. He was ready to catch me if I tumbled forward. When we made it to the bottom of the stairs, another contraction hit me.

  “Fuck!” I yelled, doubling over and grabbing his hand, squeezing it with all my might. “They shouldn’t be this close together.” I glanced up at him, fear coursing through my veins that maybe something was wrong.

  I spent hours in labor with Gigi and I remembered having a lot of time between each contraction, but this was different.

  The look on his face was absolute panic. My big, strong husband was filled with fear and it freaked me out.

  Double Trouble

  Joe

  When her contractions came fast and furious, I won’t lie, she scared the fuck out of me. Besides Gigi, Suzy was my everything.

  She was the reason I woke up in the morning. The reason I didn’t go to jail for beating the fuck out of some pissant jagoff every day.

  I’d be nothing without her. Without her, I didn’t work.

  “Everything is fine, Mrs. Gallo,” The obstetrician reassured us with half her arm up my wife. “You’ve just dilated quickly. The babies are about ready to come out.”

  Suzy’s mouth was hanging open, so I figured I’d ask what she was thinking. “Already?”

  “Sometimes labor is quicker the second time around.” She smiled, patting Suzy’s leg after withdrawing her arm and snapping off the biggest pair of latex gloves I’d ever seen.

  I watched in complete horror and tried not to gag. “Isn’t it too early for her to give birth, Doc? She’s not full term yet.” I stroked Suzy’s hair, trying to keep my cool.

  “It’s perfectly normal with multiples, plus the babies are developed enough at this point to be healthy. Don’t worry, Mr. Gallo. I know what I’m doing.” She winked, laughing as she tossed the gloves in the trash. “I’ll be back in a few minutes and we can start pushing.”

  When she walked out of the room, Suzy glared at me. “What’s this we shit? I’m the one with two aliens inside of me, trying to claw their way out of my body. I’m the only one pushing them out of my tiny vagina. Not you. Not her. Me!” She waved her hands frantically in the air. “I’m the one doing everything while you sit there calm, sexy, and without your body splitting in two. I’m going to be the one tearing wide open as I push two humans and their giant Gallo heads out of my body.” She collapsed, gasping for air, and closed her eyes.

  I bit my lip. Pregnant Suzy was unpredictable, but in-labor Suzy was just downright scary. “I know, sugar. You’re doing all the hard work. I’m just here to cheer you on and support you.”

  Her nostrils flared and her eyes grew wide when she glanced up. “Support me? If you want to support me, you’ll never knock me up again. You want to cheer me on?” She rolled her eyes and made a noise low in her throat. “Stop fucking talking.”

  I braced myself, waiting for her head to do a 360. I brought my mouth right next to her ear. “My sweet little wife, you beg for my cock every day. It takes two to tango, sweetheart. I didn’t put you in that bed.” I lowered my voice further, whispering, “Your sweet little cunt did.”

  She closed her eyes again and moaned. “You’re just too damn good. I can’t keep my hands to myself. It’s still your fault, my dear husband.”

  I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I burst into laughter. “Now, I fuck you too good?”

  “Yes!” she screeched, pounding her fist on the crappy, plastic hospital bed. “If you weren’t so good at it, I wouldn’t be lying here right now.”

  Just as I was about to reply, the nurse walked in. “I hear someone is ready to push.” Her voice was so chipper, kind of like my wife’s used to sound like before pregnancy. “Are we excited?” she asked, moving a tray of instruments next to the foot of the bed.

  “I just want this over. I’m so freaking uncomfortable.”

  “That makes two of us,” I muttered and nodded at the nurse with a fake smile on my face before leaning over and kissing Suzy’s forehead. “Ready, sugar?”

  She didn’t reply. The look she gave me was one I’d seen before. She was cursing me inside, but she was keeping it to herself since we were in mixed company.

  “We’re as ready as we’ll ever be, ma’am,” I said.

  The nurse blushed, turning the brightest pink I’d ever seen while she pulled the stirrups out for Suzy. “Ma’am, we’re just about ready. Let me go get the doctor and we can get started.”

  “See? Even the sixty-year-old nurse wants you,” Suzy said after the nurse walked out.

  Pulling her hand to my mouth, I kissed it gently. “Sugar, the only woman I ever want is lying in this bed. Now, instead of giving me attitude, why don’t you get a little excited about our babies? Yeah?”

  I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that it was the wrong thing to say. I had been through this before. Seen what happened when a woman gave birth. It was the most frightening, godforsaken thing I’d ever experienced. If men gave birth, humans would’ve been extinct a long time ago. There was no way in hell I’d let that happen to my body. There’s no sex in the world worth being split in two. I knew I was being a tad dramatic, but I saw that shit.

  “Are you fucking serious right now? Get excited? Fuck you, Joey Gallo,” she snarled, and I swore her face morphed into something straight out of a horror movie.

  “Did you figure out a name, baby?” I changed the subject quickly.

  She placed her hands on her belly, like I’d seen her do a thousand times and stroked it with her thumbs. “I don’t care if we call them A and B. I just want them out!”

  I pulled her hand from her stomach, rubbing the tender flesh between my fingers. “I think we should name them Luna and Rose.”

  She rolled her eyes, turning toward the window and away from me. “Whatever is fine.”

  “Suzy.” I squeezed her hand gently. “Look at me.” She turned toward me, slowly dragging her eyes to mine as I waited. “I don’t know what’s happening here, but you need to remember a few things, love.”

  �
��What?” Her voice was laced with attitude.

  “First of all, I love you more than life itself.” I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Second, you’re still as beautiful as the day I met you. Remember that day, sugar?”

  The corners of her mouth turned up, and I could almost see her replaying the moment in her head when I found her on the side of the road. “Yeah.” She blinked slowly before sighing.

  “When I look at you, I’ll always see that scared, beautiful creature in my headlights as I blew by. I knew the moment I saw you that I had to have you. Never forget that you’re mine and always will be. I don’t care about anything but that.”

  “But, Joe—”

  I put my finger against her lips. “No buts.”

  She glanced down and swallowed before bringing her eyes back to mine. “I love you. I’m sorry.” She sighed. “Will you forgive me?”

  I kissed her roughly on the mouth. “There’s nothing to forgive, li’l mama.”

  She grinned, her eyes sparkling at the mention of the nickname before her face changed and her eyes widened. “Oh, God! I have to push.”

  “Here we are.” The doctor looked calm, dressed in full battle gear when she entered. “Are we ready?”

  I didn’t give Suzy any time to snap back. “Yes.”

  She sat at the end of the bed and grabbed a new pair of gloves. “How are you feeling, Mrs. Gallo?”

  My stomach instantly turned at the memory of Gigi’s birth, and I had to do it twice this time.

  “I’m good and ready.” Suzy placed her feet in the stirrups, peering up at me with scared eyes as I helped her shimmy down the bed to get into position.

  I smiled and smoothed away the tiny wisps of hair that had settled near her eyes. “You got this,” I said, but I wasn’t sure if I did.

  * * *

  Two hours later, lots of screaming, tons of blood, and a whole lot of tears had been shed. But I now had three beautiful daughters, along with an amazing wife.

  I snuggled Rosie close, kissing the top of her head. “Hey, sweet girl.” I peered into her dark eyes, still glazed over from the trauma of birth. She let out a tiny noise and squirmed in my arms, and I gripped her tighter. “I’ve waited so long to meet you, Ro. Now that you’re here, I’m never going to let you go.” I rested my lips against her tiny little cheek, feeling the softness of the newborn skin as the enormity of the moment finally crashed over me. Turning my body to face Suzy, I watched as she held Luna in her arms, whispering sweet nothings in her ear much the same way I was with Ro.

  The only one missing from the room was Gigi. She had been so excited to become a big sister. She’d squealed with delight when we talked about all the things she could teach them. And she was thrilled she’d finally have some play friends, even though it would take a couple of years.

  I settled next to Suzy, resting my arm with Ro on the bed, and smiled as I looked at my family. Suzy had gone through delivery like a trooper. A batshit crazy one, but still, she did it. “Hey,” I whispered.