Uncover Me (Men of Inked Book 4) Page 3

  “I love you, Blue,” she whispered so quietly that I barely heard her.

  I felt dirty. Everything is so fucked up. How did I let it get this far?

  “Rox, you know I love you too, baby. I just can’t.” I wanted to punch something. Curse the universe for the cruelty of the situation.

  “I know,” she said, her voice a little stronger as she sat up and faced me. Then she leaned her forehead against mine. “I live in the now, and right now, I’m yours and you’re mine.”

  “I am.” Fucking shit. I was, and I couldn’t deny it.

  The sadness became overwhelming. Wanting to drown in her, get lost in the feel of her body, I crushed my lips against hers.

  Our quick breaths mingled as our mouths fused. Searching for comfort, we kissed with such fervor that my lips ached. I lifted her off my lap and carried her into the house with her legs wrapped around my waist.

  The warmth of her pussy through my jeans made my already rock-hard dick throb to be inside her. Tonight, I’d take it slow. Shutting out the real world, I would let myself drown in the feel of her.

  I’d allow myself to dream. Feeding myself the lie that we were back in my home, my real home, with her beneath me in my bed.

  She wasn’t a stripper and I wasn’t a liar.

  We were a couple making love, cherishing each other. The fairytale wasn’t in the cards for either of us, but for right then, I’d live in the delusion I’d painted in my mind.

  Chapter 3

  Even as he undressed me, I could see that something inside him had shifted. Blue was always intense. Closed off like a vault, hiding his true feelings away.

  He’d changed since he’d come back from Daytona. He didn’t have to tell me—I could read his emotions as easy as I could read my own.

  Tonight felt different. I felt his love pouring out through his kiss. I sensed him losing himself in me…in this moment and us. Rarely did I see sadness in his eyes, but tonight, it was etched across his face.

  Is he in danger?

  The thought of losing him, having him ripped from my life, had me in a panic.

  What if he vanishes?

  No one had shown me love until Blue had entered my world. I had been drawn to him; unable to stop the silent pull he had over me. I’d given in and opened my heart to him.

  Tears began to sting my eyes as he removed my clothing. I blinked a couple of times, pushing my sadness away.

  This isn’t the end, is it?

  Blue wouldn’t just abandon me. He wasn’t that type of guy.

  Who the fuck was I kidding? I’d spent my life inside the MC. I wasn’t a club whore or old lady, but I had been brought into the fold at an early age. I knew how women were treated, their value minimal at best. Blue seemed different, though, and that was the reason I had given him my body—and, ultimately, my heart.

  Standing before him naked, I removed his clothing bit by bit and savored the feel of his skin, taking mental pictures of his body and locked the memories away. Even if it were the last night I’d spend with him, I’d look back on our time together with nothing but happiness.

  He’d shown me that love was possible—and that I was worthy of it. I wasn’t a piece of trash to be ogled by anything with a prick.

  It’s easy to forget your value when you’re paid to take your clothes off. I’d become an object to men, and I’d started to believe it.

  That was until he’d made me feel more.

  I deserved a happily-ever-after. I wanted the fairytale I’d been sold as a child.

  Blue carried me to the bed, gently laying me down against the mattress. Sliding his hands down my skin, he nestled between my legs, staring down at me as if soaking in the memory just as much as I was.

  Crouching over me, he rubbed the tip of his cock against my wetness, sliding in easily. Air escaped me as he seated himself inside me, filling me with a delicious stretch only he could deliver. Without thinking, I wrapped my legs around his torso, drawing him deeper inside. Burrowing my face into his neck, I held tightly to him, holding my body against his.

  His hands drifted down my back, leaving a trail of heat as he slipped them under my ass. Cupping my cheeks, he shifted my bottom, giving him better access. I moaned, digging my face deeper into his neck, feeling my body shake in his arms.

  “Blue,” I whispered against his neck, feeling his pulse beat rapidly beneath my lips.

  “Roxy,” he moaned, thrusting into me in a slow rhythm, stroking my depths.

  I wanted to profess my love, beg him to be mine, and ask for him to never leave me, but I didn’t. If he didn’t say the words back, I’d be crushed.

  Cradling his face in my hands, I watched him come undone. As his weight collapsed on top of me, I snaked my arms around him, feeling the heaviness against me.

  He’d forever changed me. There was no looking back. Even if he walked out of my life right then, I’d have to figure out how to dust myself off and move forward without him.

  It was easier said than done. I knew it even as I thought it.

  We usually laughed, teased, and the conversation was easy. Tonight, however, there was a silence that was more deafening than I could bear.

  Rolling onto his back, he slid his arm underneath me and pulled me to his side. I propped myself up on my elbow, resting my head in my hand, and stared down at him.

  “Sleep, baby,” I whispered, tickling his chest with my nails as I traced the contours of his pecs.

  The sheet was draped around his waist, small peeks of hair sticking out above the white cotton. He closed his eyes, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t want to waste a moment of tonight sleeping. I ran my fingers over every inch of his body, memorizing every line and ridge of his torso as his breathing grew heavy and he slipped into a deep slumber.

  My eyes began to burn as they filled with tears. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

  Moonlight drifted through the window of my tiny bedroom, illuminating his body. His chest rose and fell with each breath, whispers escaping his lips as the minutes passed.

  Planting soft kisses against his velvety skin, I let the tears fall.

  I’m not this weak girl. Fucking shit.

  I never let myself dream of a forever. I had known that this wasn’t that when it had begun, but over time, it had grown into more than I’d ever dreamed.

  He was my rock. The one person I could count on. My everything.

  Laying my cheek against his chest, I listened to his heart beat in a steady rhythm. There was a comfort in the sound, listening to him breathe and knowing he was there. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to dream of our future—a house full of blue-eyed children with their father’s rugged looks and my red hair.

  I wanted a family. Something I’d never had growing up. My mother had been absent most of my life. Being an only child, I knew I wanted a large family. I wouldn’t do that to my children. It was either none or a house full. No in-between and no singles. I wanted bulk.

  I could see it—his face lighting up as he laid eyes on our first baby, kissing my head and thanking me for bringing his son into the world. The idea was sweet, and thus…just a dream. Falling further into the fantasy, I let myself get lost in his warmth, enveloped by the only man to have ever stolen my heart.

  The bed shifted, waking me. Throughout the night, I’d woken and checked that he was still by my side before drifting off again.

  After slowly opening my eyes, I found Blue sitting on the edge of the bed, half dressed and staring at me.

  “Hey, baby.” I stretched, rolling to my side to face him.

  “Morning, angel.” Reaching out, he ran the backs of his knuckles down my arm before settling his hand against mine. “Thanks for last night.”

  Is he really thanking me? “What’s wrong, Blue?” There was something he wasn’t telling me, and it gnawed at me like a disease.

  “Nothing for you to worry about.” He flashed me a quick smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

 
“Why don’t you stay with me today?” I wasn’t ready to let him go. Squeezing his hand, I gave him a sweet, lopsided smile, patting the empty spot next to me.

  “Can’t, babe. I have shit to do, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips.

  “Will you come back tonight after I get off work?”

  Please say yes. Please say yes.

  “I’ll be here if I can.”

  Denied. That wasn’t the answer I had been hoping for. It wasn’t a yes or a no—it was a way to appease me, and I knew it.

  “Okay,” I said as I sat up and pressed my front to his back, relishing the feel of his skin.

  He gripped my hands as I squeezed him. Turning to me, he said, “Hey. Stop that.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “What?”

  “I can see your wheels turning. I’m here, babe. I’ll be back.”

  I sighed, peppering his shoulder with kisses. “Is this the end?” I asked against his flesh. “Just be honest with me.”

  He shook his head and placed a kiss on my nose. “No. I’ll be back. I’m not done with you yet.”

  Warmth bloomed inside me and happiness filled me. Maybe I’d read the signs wrong.

  “I just can’t promise tonight. Shit has been getting heavy at the club. Be patient with me, Rox.” He ran his nose against my hairline, taking in my smell.

  Tiny goose bumps dotted my flesh and the wisps of hairs on my body rose. “I’d wait a lifetime for you, Blue.” I climbed into his lap, resting my body against his.

  “I’ll text ya later. I’ll let you know either way. Okay?”

  “Yes. As long as I know you’re coming back.”

  “Angel,” he said, grabbing my chin, forcing my eyes to his. “I’ll be back. I give you my word.”

  Nodding, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him quickly. After releasing him, I crawled to my feet and stretched. The worry I’d felt vanished.

  Looking at the clock, I noticed that we’d slept later than we normally did. “You better get your fine ass out of here before the guys wonder where you are and come looking.”

  He grabbed his shirt off the floor, where I’d dropped it the night before. “Eh, those assholes can wait for me,” he muttered as he pulled it on, adjusted himself, and rose to his feet.

  “We all wait for you, Blue.” I gave him one last quick kiss on the lips before I opened my closet to slip on a robe.

  “Talk later?” he asked, yanking on his boots.

  “Yeah. Now go.”

  He nodded with a smile and headed for my bedroom door. Before he disappeared, I slapped him on the ass. His loud laughter echoed as he closed the door and walked down the hallway.

  Collapsing onto the bed, I let myself finally breathe. I felt like I’d been holding the air in my lungs since we’d sat on my patio last night. Then I closed my eyes, said a little prayer, thanked God, and fell back to sleep.

  Before I went on stage, I checked my phone, but there was still no message from Blue. I wanted nothing more than to text him, but I didn’t want to be that girl. Being needy was outside my comfort zone, but he had my head all fucked up and twisted.

  After analyzing my makeup, I plastered on a fake smile before I headed for the door. No guy wants to throw money at a stripper with a sad face. I didn’t want to seduce the men, but I wanted to captivate them enough that they’d feel inclined to offer up some of their hard-earned cash.

  “Hey, Foxy,” I said, stepping toward the stage.

  She counted her last bill and looked up with a smile. “Hey, Roxy. You’re looking—”

  I held up my hand. “Don’t say it. I know I look like shit.”

  “Get it together, mama. It’s a good crowd tonight. Best tips I’ve had in a long time.”

  I sighed, knowing she was right. Keeping my work and personal life separate was a must. The men came here to feel like I wanted them. They were here for a show, and come hell or high water, I’d give it to them.

  “Game face.” I giggled as I tried to give her a sexy I-want-to-fuck-you look.

  “Close enough.” She laughed as she shook her head. “Go get ’em, tiger.”

  “Catch ya when my set is done.” I waved as she walked away and I headed toward the stage.

  I stood behind the curtain, listening to my introduction. Pushing back my shoulders, I gave myself a pep talk.

  I can do this shit. They are here to see me. Pretend you’re giving a show only to Blue. Every man in the audience is him—no one else.

  Once I heard my name, I stepped past the curtain. Then I took the stage, commanded their attention, and let myself think of only him. Clearing my mind, I gave the number my all, climbing the pole, twirling in the air, and bending myself in ways that weren’t natural.

  Catcalls and whistles were easy to block out over the sound of “Buttons” by the Pussycat Dolls. The three minutes and forty-six seconds seemed to pass quicker than normal as I thought about Blue. When the number ended and the men clapped, I bowed and quickly grabbed the bills scattered about the stage before heading to the dressing room.

  I didn’t care about counting my tips. The only thing I wanted to do was check my phone. But the screen was blank as I pressed the “on” button. Sighing to myself, I tossed the phone on my station.

  “Hot date?” Foxy asked, fixing her lip gloss in the mirror.

  “I was hoping for a call.” I plopped my ass in the chair, kicking off my heels to rub my feet.

  “They always say they’ll call.” She smacked her lips together and hoisted her tits higher in her red cutout bra.

  “He’s different.”

  He is, damn it. He wasn’t like the other pricks and perverts sitting in the club tonight. He was a gentleman. Treating me with respect, he showed me softness and made me feel important.

  I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to determine if I was full of shit.

  “Don’t fool yourself, babe. You’ll have a lot of disappointment if you do.”

  “I’m aware of how most men are. He’s not like that, Fox.”

  She walked behind me, looking at me in the mirror. “If you say so, kid.” Then she squeezed my shoulder, a sad smile on her face.

  “Foxy, I know how most men are, but Blue is different.”

  “Ahhh,” she said as she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Blue.” She hung on his name like she knew him intimately.

  My stomach turned at the thought of him with another woman. I wasn’t a fool. I knew he probably had a handful of girls he’d spent his nights with in the last month. Hell, it could be in the double digits.

  He wasn’t mine.

  I had no claim on him.

  “Have you—” I started to say before she held up her hand.

  “With Blue? Never.”

  “But you know him?”

  “Every girl does, Roxy.”

  “They do?” I asked, shocked by her admission. “Are people talkin’ shit?”

  She laughed, shaking her head. “Who’s dumb enough to talk shit about Blue?”

  “You tell me. You’re the one who made the statement.”

  “Girls talk, babe. Trust me—every girl in here has tried with him.”

  “What?” My mouth gaped open.

  “They’ve all hit on him. All asked to go home with him. But the answer is always the same.”

  “Which is?”

  I mean, what the fuck? Why couldn’t she just spill it? I swear she got off on driving other women crazy.

  “He always tells them no.” She grabbed my hair, playing with it in her hands as she kept her eyes locked on mine.

  My cheeks felt flushed, heat rushing to my face. “He does?” I asked. Then I swallowed hard as relief flooded me.

  “He always tells them he’s not interested and that he’s only here for one girl.”

  Closing my eyes, I tried to hide my emotion. He turned them all down. I wanted to collapse and cry happy tears, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t let her know h
ow much her words meant to me. Then I heard her footsteps as she moved away from my station, but I didn’t dare look.

  The one thing I’d learned since being here was to never show fear…or sadness. This was a cutthroat business. When one girl made huge tips, it lessened the income of the others. Some of them would use any angle possible to bring you down and end the competition—even Foxy.

  “You and him a thing?” she asked as she slipped on a different pair of shoes.

  “I don’t know if I’d call it that.”

  “He fuck you?” she asked.

  Opening my eyes, I turned toward her and tilted my head. I’d always felt she was the one person I could trust in this place. She was more of a girlfriend than a frenemy.

  “Yes.”

  “Does he stay the night?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “You fuckin’ anyone else?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I know he isn’t fucking any other strippers.”

  “I don’t know what the hell we are, Foxy. Honestly, it’s complicated.”

  “Babe, all relationships are complicated. They’re fucked up and glorious. Life without complication is boring as hell. You know when shit isn’t complicated?”

  Part of what she said was right. Life was fucked up. “When?”

  “When you’re old and pissing yourself in the nursing home. We die the same way we came into this life. Alone. That shit ain’t complicated.”

  “Thanks for being a buzzkill. Jesus, that’s some depressing shit.”

  “It’s the truth. Enjoy whatever you and Mr. Complicated have going on. Someday, you’ll wish you could have the fucked-up, complicated life to do again.”

  I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry. Time passes by in a blink of an eye, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Someday, I would be old, Blue would be old, and this would be all in the past. The only thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to die alone.

  “Thanks for the pep talk, Foxy. Ever think of changing professions?” I asked, trying to keep the mood light.

  “As what?”

  “An inspirational speaker.” I giggled, throwing my head back and holding my stomach.