Mend Read online

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  “I’m going to pick up the dry cleaning for the funeral tomorrow,” Evan says as I sip my coffee in the breakfast nook of our rental home the next morning, barely able to form words after my sleepless night.

  The morning sunshine lights up the entire space, giving it a heavenly glow. It’s become my favorite spot in the house.

  “Do you want me to come?” I ask even though I’m still in my robe and in no mood to face the world.

  “Nah, you stay here and relax.” He kisses me on the top of the head before he grabs his keys off the counter. “Call me if you need anything,” he says as he walks toward the front door and I follow him.

  Ever since I laid eyes on Jack, he’s all I can think about. Him and the secret I’ve kept from him for so long it weighs me down like a thick, wet blanket. I should’ve told him long ago; every year that passes makes the secret more cumbersome and causes the guilt to seep deeper into my bones. I need to tell him and pray that he forgives me for waiting so long to tell him the truth.

  We can’t move forward until I go back, uncovering the one thing I’ve tried to forget.

  It’s time to face the past and tell Jack the truth.

  11

  Jack

  Waking up in a cold sweat, I kick off the covers and stare at the ceiling. My vision blurs as I try to focus on the tiny cracks that creep out from the edges of my Elle McPherson poster on the ceiling from my senior year.

  My head’s pounding, and the small amount of light in the room isn’t helping the hangover that’s going to knock me on my ass for half of the day.

  I shouldn’t have had so much to drink, but at the time, it seemed like a good idea.

  I dreamed of Evie.

  The way she smelled of strawberry from her lip gloss.

  The feel of her lips against mine as we kissed.

  The sound of her moans.

  Every moment of my sleep was filled with thoughts of her, taunting me.

  Blinking a few times, I remember the last words she ever sent to me just months after she left, feeling the sting as if it was only yesterday.

  Jack,

  I said I’d come back for you, but I can’t keep that promise. Please move on without me. Although I loved you from the moment I saw you, some things aren’t meant to be. Don’t contact me. I’ve changed my number. This is the only way I can break free from you. Let me go, Jack, and I will do the same for you.

  Evie

  I’d read it at least a hundred times before the paper finally disintegrated into tiny little shreds. I couldn’t believe it. We had plans. She promised she loved me forever and ever.

  I kept writing her, but every letter was returned unopened. I finally threw in the towel and gave up on our forever somewhere around Christmas. What could I do if she refused to contact me? I had no way of trying to talk to her.

  Moving on without her was the hardest thing I ever did, but I played it off around my friends. Everyone in the Hollow figured I ended things with Evie because she was half a world away. Only Jason knew exactly how crushed I was when she gave up on us.

  Once word spread during Christmas break that I was back on the market, my phone didn’t stop ringing. The line of “Hollow Hotties,” as Jason called them, vying for my attention was staggering, but they kept me busy until graduation.

  But none of them made me forget about Evie, no matter how hard I tried. She was always in the back of my mind. Evie was the only girl I wanted, and I couldn’t have her.

  Rolling to my side, I glance at the tall glass of water and two aspirin lying on my nightstand. I guess I didn’t sneak into the house as quietly as I thought last night. I swallow the pills and check the time on my phone. I send Jason a text asking him if he knows where Evie is staying, and he replies quickly with an address not far from my mom’s.

  Even though my head feels like it’s ready to explode, I shower, dress, and grab a cup of coffee before heading to her address.

  I’ve waited six years to talk to her, and I am not about to waste another moment. We have things to discuss. I’m owed an explanation for the way she threw me to the side and for her admission that she hated me.

  “You’re hitting creeper status,” I say to myself as I switch off the engine, parking just down the street from Evie’s.

  I know this isn’t how to do it, but I can’t figure out another way to find out what happened. Just as I’m about to settle in, the door opens, and Evie and Evan walk out onto the front porch. She rests her body against the railing with her arms crossed in front of her, and Evan stands two feet away, animated as he speaks with his arms flailing about.

  She starts to laugh, sliding her hands down to her stomach. Evan laughs too and takes a bow before trotting down the front steps and hopping on his aqua scooter.

  Guys in this town have trucks and bigger trucks, but seeing him on a scooter reminds me of the people back in Philly, not in Ridge Hollow. Not even the older people around here have scooters. The terrain and country roads aren’t the best, and a scooter is just…well, silly.

  Evie waves to him with a smile as he backs down the driveway, giving her a double honk. It sounds more like a squeak in its ridiculousness before he drives away in the opposite direction, keeping my cover intact.

  Her smile fades as soon as he’s out of sight. She drops onto the porch swing, wrapping her robe tightly around her body, and closes her eyes, basking in the sunlight.

  She’s always been so full of life, but something has changed. I can see it. Not just when she looks at me, but it’s written all over her face. She’s scarred. Different from how she was in our youth. The sadness is deeper than when she kissed me goodbye.

  I’m out of the truck before I have time to think about what I’m doing or how she’ll react. I’m drawn to her, to her unhappiness, and to the hazy memory of our kiss last night.

  My body craves her, wanting to console her like I did when she was mine. I want to take away her sadness and bring her back to the girl I knew, the happy one who had the world stretched out before her, a million possibilities within reach.

  Her head slowly turns in my direction as I walk up the driveway. She stands, her gorgeous blue eyes growing wider with each determined step I take toward her.

  She comes to the edge of the porch, and for a moment, I think she’s excited to see me. “Jack.” She grips the railing and sways back on her heels. “What are you doing here?”

  “Where did your boyfriend go?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend, but he’d like to be yours, though.” She smiles softly, trying to defuse the situation because the tension in the air is palpable.

  Her statement almost knocks me backward. Like a fool, I’ve been stewing about another man touching her since I first saw her. “He’s gay?” I have to repeat the words because they don’t seem real or even remotely true.

  “Sadly, he is.”

  “You lied to me, Evie.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. It just felt right,” she says, like it’s no big deal.

  My foot touches the top step, and I want to grab her in my arms and kiss her again, but I don’t. “Six fuckin’ years without a word.”

  She swallows hard, her eyes dipping toward the porch floor, avoiding my eyes. “Yeah.”

  The feelings I felt when she wrote me that letter all those years ago have clawed their way to the surface. I narrow my gaze, suddenly filled with anger and fear. “Did you ever love me?”

  “Of course,” she whispers, and her head jerks backward.

  Taking a step forward, I close the gap between us. “Evie.” I reach out, gently wrapping my hand behind her neck and bringing her eyes to mine so the message isn’t lost. “I never stopped loving you.”

  Her blue eyes pierce my soul, filled with warmth and longing, but also something else I can’t quite place. “I loved you more than the moon and stars, Jack. How could you ever think I didn’t?”

  “You haven’t forgotten, have you? You said you’d love me forever, and the
n…”

  “I did,” she whispers as I bring our lips close enough to touch, and her eyes dip to my mouth.

  “But you didn’t.”

  “I do, Jack. I do,” she says with conviction.

  My lips cover hers, and my fingers tighten around the back of her neck. There’s still a hint of the strawberry lip gloss I’ve never forgotten as my tongue sweeps across the familiar ridges of her bottom lip, the ones that teased me in my youth.

  Placing her hand against my chest, she returns the kiss. It’s not the kiss of a friend, but of a long-lost lover who’s missed my touch as much as I’ve missed hers. It’s different from last night. There’s no fight in her when she touches me.

  Just as my heart is about to do a flip, filled with so much excitement that she’s finally going to admit she wants me, she pushes herself back, breaking our connection. “Wait, Jack. Stop.”

  Nipping her lip with my teeth, I groan and want to lose myself in her again. “Don’t make me stop. Not now. I can’t.” I moan softly, unable to hold it back.

  “I won’t.”

  Holding her neck with one hand, I loop my arm around her waist and pull her body against me. When she doesn’t say anything, I cover her mouth again, silencing her before she can protest.

  The sweet part in her lips widens, inviting me in fully as her hands tangle in my hair and curl around the ends with her fingertips. I hold her so close there is no space left between us.

  Her heartbeat is as erratic as her breathing. Her chest moves against mine, pressing her breasts into me. Tempting me to claim her heart and her body as I did years ago.

  It’s my turn to push back, my breathing ragged and uneven as I rest my forehead against hers. “I want you so fucking bad, Evie.” I close my eyes and breathe her in. “For six years, I’ve waited for the day I could touch you again.”

  “Don’t stop,” she moans into my mouth, sweeping her tongue along mine in a lover’s caress.

  I don’t plan on ever stopping.

  Now that I know she really does still love me, I will never let her go.

  “I see you two are up to your old tricks again,” Mrs. Griffin, notorious town busybody, says from behind us.

  Evie peers over my shoulder and sighs. “Hi, Mrs. Griffin. It’s always a pleasure to see you.”

  “Don’t lie to her. She’s an asshole,” I growl. Damn her for interrupting when things were finally getting started.

  “You two better take that inside. Wouldn’t want any torrid rumors to start.”

  “Come inside,” Evie says, taking a step backward and pulling me with her.

  This business of Evie not being with me ends today.

  12

  Evie

  “I’ve missed you, Evie.”

  Every muscle in my body seizes with the memory of the way Jack made me feel. God, the man used to play me like a fine instrument even though we were barely adults. He knew all the right ways to touch me to drive me wild. If I let him, he’d get me off track and headed down the very path I should avoid.

  “Jack, I have to tell you something first. It’s important.”

  He comes up behind me and places his mouth against my ear, resting his firm hands just under my breasts. The contact sends shivers through my body and causes my breathing to falter. “Remember how good we were together?” His thumb brushes over my nipple, and it hardens from the sensation.

  I inhale and close my eyes. “I do.”

  How could I forget?

  I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to chase away the flashbacks that are taunting me. A steady ache settles between my legs when he presses his erection against my back, and my resistance slips.

  “Imagine how it would be now that we know what we’re doing,” he taunts, tempting me to beg him to take me right now, right here. Whoever is watching, be damned.

  He turns me around, gazing down at me with such love and desire that I’m ready to give in if I’m not careful.

  His lips brush over the freckles that dust the corner of my eye, nearly forcing me to my knees. His touch is driving me so close to the brink of insanity fueled by lust.

  “We have a lot to talk about. We’ve been apart too long to just fall right back into old habits.”

  God, I still love this man.

  Why does this have to be so complicated?

  There’s nothing I’d love more than to fall back into us. Picking up right where we left off as if nothing has happened to either of us since we were together six years ago. But too much has occurred. Too many bad things have come to pass for us to just let our bodies and even our hearts permit all reason to be thrown out the window.

  “Is that all I was to you?” His brows furrow, and I can see anger in his eyes. “A habit?”

  I shake my head. “No,” I whisper, moving my lips near his, and I regret hurting him any more than necessary, but I must do it. It’s just as much for his protection as it is mine. “You were my everything, Jack, and then you were nothing.” I shake his hold and take a few steps back.

  He reaches for me, and I have nowhere to go as he wraps his arms around my body and captures me in a warm embrace. “I won’t let you pull away from me. Not now.”

  “I’m not.”

  But I am. I need to pull away.

  This is going to crush us both all over again.

  For the sake of my heart, I need to run or, at the very least, put a little space between us until I tell him everything that’s happened. That will cool him off enough that I’ll no longer have to fight off his advances. Jack Nelson will leave me in the dust and never come back again. I will never survive it, but Evan will be here to catch me when I fall.

  Jack’s lips find the spot that makes me weak in the knees. “I haven’t even been here five minutes, and I feel you withdrawing.”

  “I’m nervous,” I say and mutter a few more words, but I’m so lost in the feel of his lips against my skin that I’m not even sure what I said.

  He’s kissing me, driving me wild and working me up like he used to. He feels so good. His hardness against me. It’s been so long since I’ve had anyone touch me that I crave his warmth and embrace. My willpower is slipping, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. He’s too close, and I’m consumed with him. I see the freight train coming, but I can’t step out of the way.

  “Give in to me, Evie. Be mine again.”

  “Jack.”

  God, I want to say yes.

  I want to feel him deep inside me and relish in the weight of his body against mine. There’s nothing more I want in the world than to get lost in him.

  “I still love you,” he whispers in my ear before retracing the line of my neck with his lips. Slowly, brick by brick, the wall of resistance I had built up begins to crumble.

  When he slides his palm up my side and holds my breast in his hand, my body quakes with excitement. I lose my breath when his