Kayden: The Past Read online

  “My word.” She touched her lips as a smile crept across her face. “You sure don’t disappoint.” She leaned forward and touched the tip of it with her finger.

  “Sure you want what you said, now that you’ve seen what I have to offer?”

  She shook her head and looked at me from head to toe. “I want all of it.”

  She climbed off the bed and crawled like a tiger, stopping in front of my cock. She grabbed it with both hands and began to stroke it while swirling her tongue around the tip. I fisted her hair as she placed my cock in her mouth. She palmed my balls and licked my shaft and sucked me into the back of her throat. I could feel her swallow against my cock, and I almost exploded. The force against the tip was so intense I felt like she would swallow it right off my body. She was an expert at sucking cock, a true master.

  “Stop unless you want me to come,” I said as I pulled her head away from my body.

  “I want you to come… You’ll last longer for what I want.” Fucking hell. This girl was all sex.

  I released her hair and let her work her magic, sucking, licking, and pumping my shaft until my balls tingled and my body tightened. She sucked all of me, pulling out every last drop as I watched her take it all. She swallowed and licked her lips. “Mm, you taste so fuckin’ good. Now, I want mine.”

  She didn’t mince words. I’d give her what she asked for, every bit of it. She placed her body on the bed, leaving her legs dangling off the side. I lay down next to her and started to kiss her skin and suck her nipple in my mouth. I bit down on it, causing her body to twitch on the bed and her to cry out. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No, more. I want it rough.” I’d give it to her anyway she wanted.

  I sucked her nipple and closed my teeth around it, trapping it like a prisoner. I pinched her other nipple and twisted it. Her legs moved, and her hips lifted off the bed. I played with her nipples until she was writhing underneath me almost unable to control the motions of her body.

  “I need you in me, Kayden.” She said in a whisper.

  I ran my fingertips down her body as I held her nipple between my teeth and stroked it my tongue. I ran my fingers between her wetness. “How much?”

  “I need you badly.” She lifted her hips, “All of you.”

  I couldn’t believe what she wanted. She liked it rough and big. Bigger than any man would be able to deliver with a cock. She wanted to be fisted and most men were turned off by the deed, but I’d never deny someone their kink. I worked in two fingers to start, getting the rest of my fingers wet on the juices running down her pussy. I kept my mouth on her tits while I worked my fingers, inserting a third and then a fourth. She could take it; it was more due to my hesitation that I worked them in slowly.

  “More, more.” She moaned. I’ve never been with a girl like Jennifer. The things she told me blew my mind, and I thought she was full of shit and playing a game, but in this moment, I knew that all her words were truth. I withdrew my finger and touched all my fingertips together, making my fist as small as possible. I placed the fingers at her opening and slowly worked them in and out until my entire hand disappeared inside of her. I didn’t have the right angle, and my hand was cramped, so I removed it. I released her nipple from my lips and climbed off the bed.

  “Why the fuck are you stopping?”

  I laughed. “I’m not! I’m just getting a better angle. Quiet.”

  Her head dropped back on to the bed, and I stood between her legs and worked my hand back inside of her. I’ve always loved watching my cock disappear inside a pussy but seeing my hand do the same is something entirely different. My wrist was covered in her wetness as I worked my hand back and forth. I moved my fingers inside of her, hitting every crevice and spot she had. Her moans grew louder and louder as her body became covered in moisture, and her body twitched uncontrollably. I could feel my hand being squeezed by her walls, and my cock grew hard from the sounds, feeling, and sight of the scene before my eyes. It was like watching a porn movie but being the star instead of a watching it online.

  “More?” I said as I stopped my hand inside of her.

  “Oh, please. All of it. Give it to me. Nightstand.” I looked towards the nightstand and saw a condom sitting out, waiting for me. I kept my left hand inside of her and leaned over grabbing the condom off of the nightstand.

  I gave her everything she asked for. She wanted to be double stuffed but only by one man. I fucked her in the ass and fisted her pussy at the same time. It didn’t last long though. Her body was so full and tight that I exploded inside of her within minutes, blow job or not.

  It was the kinkiest moment, and I lived some wild shit. Would I ever do it again? Fuck, no. Once was enough. It was almost like watching a car accident that you try to look away from, but you keep peeking, unable to stop yourself. I’d never make someone feel perverted or gross for what they wanted in bed, but I knew that once was enough with Jennifer.

  I called one of the guys to pick me up and bring me back to my car. I wasn’t there to spend the night and share a bed with her. We both only had one thing in mind that night, and we each accomplished our mission. There was no love involved or a future for either of us. I wanted nothing to do with relationships or the complications they’ve brought into my life.

  Jennifer and I continued to talk after that night, but we never had sex again. It was an experience, but not one I wanted to repeat. I could check it off my bucket list. She stuck true to her word and never asked for anything beyond that one night. She didn’t let feelings get involved. We both got what we wanted out of the evening.

  A Piece of Home ~ Lisa

  I’d been living with my mom for a month and Facebook became my link to my old friends and hometown. A beautiful blond caught my eye when scrolling through my suggestions one day. Lisa Jackson. She graduated a year after me, but I noticed she lived in the same town I did in Florida. We didn’t date or hang out in the same circles in high school, but she was in some of my classes and had always seemed nice. I sent her a request and waited. I didn’t have many friends besides the guys from work and the older ones at my parents’ club. I could use a breath of fresh air.

  I closed down the computer and headed to bed. I worked seven days a week lately, looking to make as much money as possible. I’d moved in to my own place and needed to make my bills each month along with extra cash for my evenings. I felt exhausted, but it gave me a purpose each day.

  I checked Facebook the next morning before jumping in the shower. Lisa had accepted my request, and I had a message waiting.

  Lisa: Hey Kayden. I see you live nearby; we should get together some night.

  It was only five am, and I knew she wasn’t on, but I wanted to respond to her.

  Me: That would be great. I’m heading to work, but I’ll be back on later tonight if you want to catch up.

  We chatted well after midnight that night, talking about Ohio and what our friends were doing with their lives. I felt lost in Florida without a close group like I had in Cleveland. We talked online for days before we exchanged phone numbers and talked until we fell asleep. I can’t recall any of the early conversations - maybe I’ve blocked as much out of my mind as I could. I’m not entirely sure why I have a hole in my memory when I think about my time with Lisa.

  Lisa and I met a week later for a drink. Her mouth was dirty, and she had an aura about her. She was full of energy and spunk, and I wanted to wrap myself up in it - not as part of a relationship but a close friend in a foreign place. We started hanging out, watching football, shopping, and having dinner, but it changed along the way.

  We shared our stories of lost love. We’d both lost people who we cared for due to cheating. We could understand each other and knew the pain the other felt. I felt comfortable with her, sharing my emotions with her without feeling like a total pussy. Being betrayed in that manner causes such extreme heartache; Lisa and I had a commonality that drew us together. She became part of my life, part of my world, and I was immersed in hers.
I couldn’t imagine not talking or seeing Lisa. Somewhere my hatred of relationships vanished, and we became an item.

  I wish I could travel back in time and tell myself to run away. Don’t look back… run - she’s the devil in disguise, but knowing me, I wouldn’t have listened. The breakup with Danielle was still fresh in my mind when I fell into Lisa. Maybe she was my rebound, but I jumped in head first and became infatuated with her. I should have slowed things down and got to know her more, but I never took the easy way and most certainly not the right way… I liked the bumpy path filled with debris.

  We moved in together within months. Neither of us saw a reason to pay an extra rent, and we spent all of our free time together. She rented a house in an upscale neighborhood, and she wanted to share it with me. I was hesitant, but I felt that Lisa would never cross me the way the others had in the past.

  You never really know someone until you live with them. You don’t know about their bad days, their wicked ways, and their cruelty, but by then, you’re so far lost that you need a wake-up call for you to comprehend it. Neither of us wanted to get married, just being in a relationship was a leap for me, but sometimes, your heart takes you somewhere your mind says do not wander.

  Lisa and I had a wild sex life. We were like dynamite. Everything was explosive and violent at times. I was in such a dark place in my life, and the dynamic of our relationship fit me. She liked to be smacked in the face when fucked; she wanted bruises on her skin, and she clawed mine leaving her mark, warding off other women, although she claimed that wasn’t the reason.

  We fucked everywhere and anywhere. On an airplane – I earned my wings, at my class reunion – three times in the bathroom, on the side of the road – happened more than once. She liked the thrill of possibly being caught, and she made me feel alive again. I felt wanted when I was with her.

  My cock did the thinking and led me astray. It betrayed me more than any woman ever had.

  Every relationship has a honeymoon period, a time where everything is sunshine and fairytales, but eventually, the bottom drops out and reality smacks you in the face. Things began to change slowly – mainly she changed – her personality grew volatile, and her mood swings made my head spin. I was entrenched at this point; our worlds had become entwined.

  Lisa became controlling and demanding. I didn’t notice it at first. She did small things in the beginning: asking who was on the phone, checking my text messages, and logging in to my email. Alarm bells didn’t sound; I just thought she was concerned, but every night, we’d fight over the crazy shit she made up in her mind. I turned to the bottle to deal with her crazy ass bullshit and unfounded accusations.

  “Are you on Facebook again?” she asked me, standing over my shoulder at the desk.

  “Yeah, I was just talking to Ron.” I said pointing at the screen.

  “I know you’re talking to girls. Get the fuck off there!” I never had a girl be jealous to the extreme or suspicious of all my actions like Lisa.

  “Okay, calm down.” I said. That statement is the kiss of death, it starts half the arguments in the world. It doesn’t help and is patronizing, but I didn’t know what else to say. She was already in a shitty mood, and I didn’t need a fight tonight.

  I turned the computer off and started to put on my shoes. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

  “Out.” I stood up, leaving the laces undone. I just wanted to get the fuck out.

  “We need to talk.”

  “About what?” I stood there and jiggled my keys in my hand.

  “You seeing other women.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Lisa, I’m not seeing anyone. I’m not a cheater. How many times do I need to tell you this?”

  “Bullshit. I can smell a cheater.”

  I sighed not knowing what else to do or say. Her trust issues were starting to wear me down and make my pull to the bottle greater. I started drinking months ago. My daily beer turned into three then I graduated back to vodka. She made me miserable, but I felt she’d never cheat on me. Her jealousy and possessiveness were so fierce that I couldn’t imagine her not being totally committed to our relationship.

  “I’m not going to win this argument tonight, and I don’t know how to prove it. I’m running to the store. I’ll be back and give you some time to cool off.”

  She walked away, her footsteps heavy on the tile floor. Pissed off didn’t even describe her anger level at the moment. I knew when I returned, the night would be filled with screaming, possibly her throwing some things at me, but it would end the same way it always did – I’d fuck her into oblivion.

  At times, I think she picked a fight with me on purpose, wanting to yell and scream, maybe needing to. Her mood swings were vicious and came out of nowhere. I learned that she was bi-polar but often skipped her medication. That’s the issue with a mental illness. When a person feels good, they don’t think they need the medicine and then their other side comes out, and it’s a struggle to get them to get back on it.

  I allowed my drinking to grow out of control. It was the only way I could cope with her multiple personalities. It weighed heavy on our relationship at time but so did her disease. I found myself staying out after work a couple of months after moving in together, not wanting to face whichever Lisa I would get when I walked in the door.

  I know it’s no way to stay in a relationship, but I failed so many times I couldn’t just leave. Why do people stay in a rotten situation? I wish I had an answer why I stayed with her. She became so overbearing, and I allowed it. Danielle and Bridget had ruined my view of a relationship, and as long as Lisa stuck by my side, I was in it for the long haul. Fucked up thinking I know, but I stayed and grew more miserable over time.

  I became lost in the bottle, my only friend and savior. Lisa and I fed off each other, her anger and my drinking. We couldn’t last forever in this fucked up state of being, but I didn’t feel like I could walk out. Could I fail in love again?

  Lisa had a rebellious side - one that reared its ugly head from time to time. She liked to steal, and it always made me nervous. I couldn’t afford to get caught, but she didn’t seem to have a care in the world. She said it gave her a high that she never experienced before. I understood the chase but not the risk of getting caught walking out with a pair of shoes on your feet you didn’t pay for.

  Lisa made new rules: no more drinking, no going out after work, no Facebook or other social media sites, and she needed access to my email account. She could read any of my mail or access any account I had; I didn’t have anything to hide from her. The one thing I fought against in her demands was drinking. It became necessary to my sanity. I felt like a child with the rules she made, and like any normal teenager, I fought back and rebelled.

  “Kayden, you big pussy! You going home to your broad or going to Greg’s?” Mike asked after I called him to ask if he had a spare part. Mike and I shared a bond. Besides working together, we both had crazy bitches at home. We shared our misery and inability to leave, but Mike had an easier time putting her in her place than I did with bat shit crazy Lisa.

  I didn’t want to go home and listen to her bullshit tonight. Everything that could go wrong in my day already had, why not add to it? “Prick, I’ll be there. She doesn’t rule my life. I’m my own boss.” I wanted that statement to be true. I wanted the spunky girl I met with the infectious laughter long ago, but that Lisa had vanished and was replaced by the controlling mad woman who was waiting at home for me. “I could use a night out with the guys.”

  “Sure, you say that now. You know she has you by the balls.”

  “Don’t give me your shit! Your woman has your ass on a tight leash. Don’t pretend she doesn’t,” I laughed.

  “Who you fucking telling, but I have a free pass tonight. She’s out of town visiting her mother.” Why can’t Lisa go visit her family back in Ohio and give me some breathing room. Maybe the absence would make her heart grow fonder and smash the invisible problem she has in her head.


  “Lucky mother fucker! I’ll be there after I’m done. I still have one more install and based on the beginning of my day, it’ll be a couple of hours.” I hung up the phone and decided to give Lisa a call. I needed to give her a reason I wouldn’t be home in her expected time frame.

  “Hey, baby. Just wanted to call and say hi.” I twirled the keys in my hand feeling on edge.

  “Hey. How’s work? Almost done?” she asked.

  She always wanted to know when I’d be home, so that she could watch me and make sure I didn’t do anything to break a rule or betray her. “It’s been shitty today; every install has had a problem, and I still have a huge job ahead of me. I’m going to be late tonight, babe, I’m thinking after nine.” I held my breath listening carefully for her response.

  “You need to quit that fucking job. Come straight home afterward, please.” The please was bullshit. She added it to make it sound nicer, but it was a demand.

  “I’ll call you when I’m on my way. Some of the guys are going to Greg’s. I may join them for an hour.”

  “What? Kayden, I told you this before. I don’t want you hanging out with those guys. Your ass better be home right after work.”

  “Lisa, I’m not a child.”

  “You better not go there, that’s all I’m saying.” I could hear her breathing hard and fast in the phone. She was like a dog foaming over a squirrel.

  “I’ll call you later. I love you.” There was no reply but a click. Fuck it! I’m a grown man, and I wanted a night out with the guys. Lisa did whatever and went wherever she wanted. A relationship should be about mutual respect, not ball busting and control. There’d be hell to pay when I walked through the door tonight, but I needed to grow a pair and take a stand.

  I walked through the door at Greg’s two hours later ready for a cold beer. “Hey, he made it.” Mike said as I entered the living room.