Guilty Sin Read online

  Running down the steps, I was out the front door and heading toward the car with Nya safely in my arms. She rested her head against my chest, still and silent as I stalked down the driveway toward my father. His eyes grew wide as soon as he saw the girl in my arms.

  “The fuck. She’s naked,” he said in a low tone as I motioned for him to open the door so I could get her inside and us the fuck out of there.

  “I didn’t have time to dress her.” I placed Nya in the back seat and grabbed a blanket I’d kept in the back just in case. “You’re safe now,” I repeated, trying to get her to calm down as I wrapped the blanket around her naked, trembling body.

  “Don’t go,” she said, her voice soft and laced with fear as I backed away, about to close the door.

  “This guy’s an animal and deserves to be put down,” my father said behind me, pacing next to the car like a caged lion. “I’ll drive. You look after the girl.” He didn’t wait for me to answer as he opened the driver’s-side door.

  I didn’t have time to argue, and with one look at Nya’s face, I knew I couldn’t sit in the front and leave her in the back, trembling and alone. Getting in on the other side, I maintained a safe distance from Nya—for her sake, not mine. After a traumatic experience, I knew human touch and even nearness could be overwhelming to a person. But instead of staying on the other side of the back seat, she crawled in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  My dad’s eyes were glued to the rearview mirror, watching in just as much shock as me as she placed her head on my chest. “Go,” I told him, ready to get the hell out of Atlanta.

  2

  Nya

  “I can’t.” I gazed up at Ret with tears in my eyes, unable to find the right words to explain how I felt. “Not yet.”

  I couldn’t go home. Not yet, at least. My parents already thought I was a freak, and if they found out what happened, they’d have me committed.

  “I promised, Nya,” Ret said from the bed next to me.

  I chewed my lip and pulled the strings of my hoodie tighter, wishing I could hide. “My parents won’t understand.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, cursing under his breath. “I don’t know if I understand either.”

  I kicked my feet, knocking the backs of my heels against the box spring and stared down at the dirty carpeting. “Do you know anything about…” I stopped, wondering the best way to approach the topic and to explain BDSM to him.

  He nodded with a slight smile, eyes still on me like he could read my thoughts. “I do.”

  “Oh,” I whispered, rolling the strings of the sweatshirt between my fingertips and digging my toes into the carpeting. “Diego was my Dom, and at first, I entered into our relationship willingly.”

  “Go on,” he said softly.

  “But after I graduated, I was ready to go to New York. I had a huge job opportunity there, and I thought Diego was coming with me.”

  “Did he say he was?”

  “Not exactly.” I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing I was about to sound like a complete idiot. “He said he wouldn’t be able to let me go, but I figured he meant he was moving with me even though he never said the words.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It was an easy mistake to make.”

  Covering my face with my hands, I laughed into my palms and tried to keep the tears at bay. “Two days before I was supposed to leave, Diego summoned me to his house, and I obeyed, and I never stepped foot outside of his mansion again.”

  “Your parents understand it’s not your fault, Nya. Things like this happen. I wouldn’t have a job otherwise.”

  I turned my head with my hands still covering my face and peeked through the slits between my fingers. “Dumb people like me, huh?” I mumbled.

  “I will not allow you to talk about yourself like that, little one.” His voice was firm yet kind. “We all make mistakes. Your parents will be happy just to have you home and safe.”

  I dropped my hands to my lap. “They think I’m a freak.” I looked him straight in the eyes. “They’ll think I deserved what happened to me and that I’ll need Jesus to save me from my sexual deviance.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure of any kind as long as it’s consensual.”

  I held in my laughter because he’d clearly never met my parents. They made the Westboro Baptists appear sane. If anything involved pleasure, they were against it…especially sex.

  “Your parents can’t force you to do anything against your will. If they truly believe you deserved what happened, then you either set them straight, or you need to learn to deal with them from a distance to maintain your identity as well as your self-esteem. You’re an adult, and although they’re your parents, they’re not in charge of your life anymore.”

  “It’s easy to say, Sir, but not so easy to do.”

  “Ret, please,” he corrected me.

  “Ret,” I replied and paused for a moment. “That man in the other room. He’s your father, yeah?”

  He sighed heavily and nodded. “Afraid so.”

  Ret’s father, the man with the long beard and weathered face, didn’t have an unkind word when he spoke to his son. He was patient, affectionate, and everything humanity should be, especially in regard to family.

  “You’re lucky to have such an understanding father. Mine is a minister, and sex, especially before marriage, that deviates from the norm is a hard limit for him.”

  “My father is the furthest thing from understanding, but the man is flawed himself. He can’t pass judgment on me when he’s messed up so much in his own life.”

  “At least he doesn’t speak the word of God, putting the fear of damnation in you and preach at you every chance he gets.”

  My father had pounded the Gospel into my head for as long as I could remember. I sat in church every Sunday, the well-behaved daughter, at the side of my perfect mother. My father’s sermons were filled with fiery hell and a message of redemption only through true faith and complete submission to the word of God.

  Even as I’d sat there, listening to the words, I never believed a word of his speeches. The message of the Bible was forgiveness, generosity, and kindness. We were all supposedly children of God and should be accepted for who we were and not punished for how we were created.

  When I’d question my father about faith and the existence of God, in private, of course, he’d go into an hour-long diatribe about my heathen ways and my eventual damnation that no amount of prayers could stop.

  Ret’s face softened, and he almost smiled. “Oh, he’s preached, but his words aren’t anything you’d find in the Bible.”

  I pulled my leg under my bottom and faced Ret. “That’s what a good father should do. He shouldn’t judge you and damn you to hell.”

  “True.” He finally smiled.

  “If I go back, I’ll never be the same again,” I said, holding back the tears because, even after the hell I’d lived, I didn’t want to change into a bible-thumpin’ robot. I didn’t want to forget who I was, and there was no way in hell I’d become a clone of my parents, even if that meant pushing them out of my life forever.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I do,” I told him because I did.

  “Maybe the time you spent apart changed them. The worry they felt for the last few months had to wear on them and may have softened their views. I’m sure they’ll be more accepting.”

  I arched an eyebrow, calling bullshit, because I knew my parents better than anyone. “So, when they find out that in order to live out my sexual fantasy, I was a submissive, giving myself fully to a man who locked me up against my will, they’ll think what?” I paused, rubbing my palms against the baggy sweat pants Ret had given me, and sucked in a breath. “They’ll say ‘Hallelujah, at least she’s safe’? Come on. We both know better than that.”

  “Weirder shit has happened.” He shrugged.

  “Yeah,” I muttered and took a deep breath.

  I knew people changed,
but there was no way my parents’ viewpoint had made such a dramatic shift since I disappeared. If Jesus didn’t make them nice, my disappearance wouldn’t either.

  “We better get some sleep. We have a long drive tomorrow,” he said before turning off the bedside light.

  I crawled under the covers and tried to get comfortable, but I hadn’t worn clothing in two months. The feel of it against my skin felt foreign and intrusive.

  Most nights, Diego had me in his bed, with my arms secured to the headboard and my ankles shackled to the end of the bed. He’d curl his bare body around my naked flesh, pinning me.

  When Diego wasn’t home, he locked me in the small, three-foot-tall cage in complete darkness. Those were the times I liked most. I didn’t fear the blackness or being alone, because nothing or no one could hurt me. I dreaded his footsteps across the floor, coming to uncage me, only to chain me down again.

  Pulling my legs to my chest, I turned to the side and stared at Ret through the darkness. His body covered more than half the bed, and his feet hung off the end, making him look like a giant…godlike, even.

  Don’t go there. Get your shit together, Nya.

  You’re free.

  3

  Ret

  “Mrs. Halstead is here,” James said from the doorway of my office before I could even get comfortable in my chair.

  “We’ll be right there,” I told him.

  Nya sat across from me, twisting her hands in her lap without an ounce of excitement on her face. I didn’t imagine there would be any. Not after everything she’d told me. Her relationship with her parents was complicated, but that was typically how it was when children didn’t fit into the pretty little mold that had been laid out before them.

  I’d never had such issues. With my father off doing his own thing, my aunts raised my sister and me, but never once did they judge me for anything I did or wanted.

  “Are you ready, Nya?” I asked, watching her closely and looking for any signs she’d run.

  She swept her hand across her cheek, maybe wiping away a tear or as a nervous tic, but she didn’t bring her eyes to mine. “I guess so. I don’t have a choice.”

  “We all have choices.”

  She stood, eyes downturned toward the carpeting, but she didn’t say another word. I’d taken part in a few family reunions, but usually, the air crackled with so much excitement before the big moment that everyone in the office was pumped.

  With Nya, that was not the case. From the moment she walked into ALFA, she made it quite clear that her parents were no better than the man who’d held her against her will.

  The very idea of that was hard for us to wrap our heads around. Each of us had parents who weren’t judgmental. They might have been overbearing and a pain in the ass, but they never tried to force us into something or made us feel like shit about our decisions.

  Nya followed James down the hallway as I walked behind them, rubbing a knot out of my shoulders. I was ready to collapse after a restless night’s sleep, wearing far too much clothing. All I wanted to do was get home and crawl under the covers with Alese, leaving everything behind.

  James entered the conference room first, Nya practically hiding behind him. She glanced back at me as she stepped inside, and my stomach twisted from the pained expression on her face.

  James stopped near the end of the conference table with Nya almost glued to his back. “Mr. and Mrs. Halstead.”

  A woman popped up from her chair as she glanced around. “Where is she?”

  The woman exuded money with immaculate clothing, perfect hair, and flashy jewelry that was way too big for her small frame.

  Nya stayed behind James for another moment before finally moving to his side, making herself visible to everyone. She lifted her face, brushing her brown hair over her shoulders, and straightened.

  “Nya,” her mother said, slowly approaching her with her arms outstretched.

  Nya hadn’t looked up and seemed frozen, almost catatonic, as she stood next to James. There wasn’t any happiness about this event that should’ve been nothing less than joyous. Even when her mother wrapped her arms around Nya, giving her a tight hug, she didn’t reciprocate.

  Nya’s hands were at her sides as she stood perfectly straight with her mother still holding her tightly. She stiffened even more when Mrs. Halstead whispered something in her ear.

  “Nya,” her father said, not moving from his spot, only giving her a slight and very sterile head dip as Mrs. Halstead finally released her.

  “We can’t thank you gentlemen enough for finding our little girl. We’ll take her off your hands,” Mr. Halstead said, motioning for what appeared to be a doctor they’d brought with them.

  My hands curled into tight fists, and James’s went rigid. We were here for a happy reunion, not for giving Nya over from one type of imprisonment to another.

  The man stood, moving toward Nya with a syringe in his hands. She stepped back, moving closer to me and putting as much distance between herself and him as she could.

  What the fuck was wrong with these people? They were exactly as Nya had described them and even worse than I could’ve ever imagined.

  “Now, Nya. This is Dr. Faraday. He’s here from the Biltmore Institute. He’s going to help you get better.”

  “I’m not sick,” she finally spoke, raising her head up to face her father.

  James stepped in front of Nya, and I pulled her back to my side, blocking the doctor and her family from her.

  “You’re not well either, dear. Just let the good doctor give you something to help you settle down.”

  “We can’t let you do that, sir,” James told Mr. Halstead.

  “Shh,” I said to Nya who was practically in tears as she stared up at me with the widest eyes.

  She wrapped her hand around my arm, tethering herself to me. “Don’t let them take me,” she begged.

  “Mr. Caldo, we paid you for the safe return of our daughter and nothing more. She’s ours.”

  James didn’t back down as he squared his shoulders and stood his ground. “She’s not property, sir.”

  “What’s going on here?” my father asked from behind me.

  I peered back, giving him a look that said there wasn’t a damn thing good happening. As if on instinct, I grabbed Nya’s hand and passed her off to Bear. He took her without question, ushering her toward his office as James and I blocked the doctor and Mr. Halstead from advancing.

  “You have no right to keep our daughter from us.” Mrs. Halstead stalked toward the door, trying her best to get past us, but it wasn’t happening.

  I stepped to the side, obscuring the entire doorway and stopping anyone in the room from leaving or going after Nya. Bear wouldn’t let anyone get their hands on her. He’d protect her with his life, and there wasn’t a person at ALFA who would let anything happen to her, including me.

  “Mrs. Halstead, your daughter doesn’t need to be drugged and institutionalized. She’s been through enough. I’ve spoken to her at length, and she’s of sound mind,” James said.

  “Where did you get your degree, good sir?” the doctor asked, syringe still in his hands.

  “My job is to know people. I’ve worked at the CIA, and I have skills you could only dream of, Dr. Faraday. Unless you have a court order to commit Nya, you will not touch her, and she won’t be leaving with you today,” James told her father.

  “How dare you?” Mr. Halstead stepped up to James, but he didn’t so much as flinch.

  We’d been confronted by men a hell of a lot meaner and more dangerous than this rich asshole. He wouldn’t get far, no matter how much he raised his voice and no matter how much he threatened us. Nya wasn’t going anywhere as long as she had the team at ALFA behind her.

  “We paid you for her return, Mr. Caldo, and you haven’t delivered.”

  “I refuse to take any more of your money. I will not allow you to force her to be committed, and we won’t permit her to leave with you today under any circumstances.�
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  Thomas entered the room, and I took the chance to duck out, letting them handle the Halsteads while I went to find Nya and tell her she had nothing to worry about.

  When I entered my father’s office, Nya was sitting in the corner, holding her knees, and rocking gently with her face buried. Bear looked at me and shrugged, completely lost on how to handle a situation like this.

  I motioned for him to step out, leaving Nya and me alone to talk. Slowly, I lowered myself down to the floor next to her, waiting in silence until the door clicked closed.

  “Nya,” I said, keeping my voice soft and calming. The last thing she needed was something more to jar her, pushing her deeper inside herself. “You’re safe.”

  She slowed her rocking but kept her face hidden, pressed against her knees. “I told you they were horrible people.”

  “You did.” I wanted to touch her, soothe her in some fashion, but I knew better than that. After everything she’d been through, touch was something that needed to be avoided if possible.

  “I’m not sick, Ret.”

  “I know you’re not.”

  “You should’ve left me with Diego.”

  My entire body tensed as anger flooded me. Not toward Nya, but her asshole parents for making her feel as though she was better off with a sick fuck like Diego. “Don’t ever say that. It doesn’t matter what your parents want, Nya. We won’t let them take you.”

  She lifted her head, and her eyes met mine. She blinked, probably figuring I was full of shit. But I hoped I’d gained a small sliver of her trust in the last twenty-four hours so that she’d have faith in my word. “I don’t have to leave with them?”

  “You’re an adult. They can’t force you to do anything, and I won’t allow them to lay a hand on you. I didn’t save your life for you to lose it again.”

  She chewed on her bottom lip and stared at me. I let her process my words as I sat a foot away, not moving. “Where am I going to go, Ret?”