Kayden: The Past Read online

  “Let’s go, Kayden.”

  “Is that all you’re going to say?” I asked.

  “I have no words right now. Get your ass up.”

  I stood up and my stomach felt like someone was doing cartwheels inside. I always hated when my dad was pissed off, especially when he had no words to express his feelings. I followed him to the car with my eyes staring at the ground. I climbed into my dad’s orange Chevy Vega and closed the door softly. I wanted to disappear. I stared out the window as he pulled out of the parking lot.

  I closed my eyes, the motion of the car causing my eyes to hurt and my stomach to gurgle. A sharp pain woke me from my slumber as my face hit the car window. My dad had slammed his fist into my face; cold cocked me while I wasn’t looking. “You’re a stupid fucker, Kayden,” his fist hit me again, “What the fuck were you thinking?”

  The pain drew me out of the alcohol haze and I could feel my blood almost begin to boil. “Don’t you dare fucking hit me, again,” I said.

  “What are you going to do about it?” his fist started to move in my direction, and I moved avoiding another blow.

  “I don’t know if you noticed, Dad… but I’m bigger than you now. Don’t push me,” I said staring at him in the eyes.

  “Are you threatening me?”

  “No. I’m just telling you I won’t take your shit anymore. I’m not that scared little kid who will hide under the covers. If you want to hit me, at least do it like a man. Don’t hit me when I’m not looking.”

  “I brought you into this world, and I’ll take you out,” he said with a look of such hatred, unlike anything I had ever seen before.

  “I’ll go out bringing you down with me, remember that.” The car stopped, and I climbed out, preferring walking home to being in the car with that bastard any longer. I was so angry with him; it took everything I had not to physically fight back in that moment. I knew I had to get away from him and give us both time to cool off. I walked to Scott’s house and found refuge on his floor for the evening. Tomorrow I’d face the music, and I prayed that neither one of us would speak of that moment again.

  I studied hard and wanted to give myself every opportunity to a college scholarship, but my senior year everything started to fall apart. In October, my parents sat me down and told me the worst news a kid could ever hear; they were getting divorced. Everything fell apart quickly after that ‘talk’.

  My dad moved out, and my mom immersed herself in her work. Money became something just out of reach, and we never had enough. Dad didn’t contribute his share to household expenses or help out with my team costs. Wrestling, besides girls, was my one true love. I watched it and studied it like an obsessed fan. Without money, I couldn’t continue to play. My mom apologized over and over again, and I knew she meant it, but my dad, the one person I thought would understand my love of the sport, didn’t seem to give a fuck.

  I quit the wrestling team half way through the season, right after my eighteenth birthday. I know it pissed off my teammates and my coach, but we didn’t have extra money to pay the team fees and barely paid the household bills each month. It ripped my heart out; my one true reason to do well and achieve in school had vanished. Not only did my family disintegrate, but so did my only way to attend college and the reason I stayed out of trouble.

  I started working to fill the void after school and help my mom pay the bills. My life became something entirely not my own. I needed to escape my new reality. I found other things to occupy my time. They were the only things that made me forget the bullshit that filled my life.

  A friend, who will remain nameless, gave me my first taste of cocaine towards the end of senior year. A small bump, but it rocked my world. I’m not condoning drugs, but the rush it gave me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and spent the rest of my life chasing. I knew it was something I couldn’t do again, at least not anytime soon. I needed to stay on track and graduate from high school.

  I worked at night and tried to stay awake during the day in class. I wasn’t always successful keeping my eyes open; the boredom of hearing a teacher give a monotone lecture was better than any sleeping pill I’ve taken in my life. I wanted to kiss the ground and thank my lucky stars the day senior exams rolled around. I had made it and done well enough that no matter my exam scores, I’d receive my diploma.

  My mom had a new boyfriend, Joe, and he occupied her free time by the time graduation day arrived. I was nearly blind from my mother snapping so many pictures; she wanted to capture every moment of her oldest child graduating from high school, an event she never experienced for herself.

  My mom found out she was pregnant with me at the beginning of her senior year, and she dropped out to raise me and work full-time. I have a younger brother and sister, but we were never really close. The age gap was too great, and we were nothing alike. They were close, but I was the outsider.

  “Is dad coming today?” I asked as she placed the small pink camera in her purse.

  “I don’t know, baby. I haven’t spoken to him in a long time. I sent him the invitation; the rest is up to him,” she said before kissing me on the cheek. I knew with her words that he wouldn’t be there. He barely even acknowledged my existence since he left months ago.

  As I walked down the aisle, I looked through the crowd trying to find him, but he wasn’t there. I don’t know why I even fucking bothered; I knew the bastard wouldn’t be there. Besides the money he made, he wasn’t missed in the house. He was a miserable bastard and not very loving. Things had been calmer, and my mom and I got along better without his sorry ass around. I sat there stewing about my feelings, or lack thereof, for my father while everyone gave speeches that I had tuned out.

  The kid next to me stood up, and it was my queue that I’d be next. My moment had finally arrived; high school official ended the second I walked across the stage and shook the hand of the principal. I could hear the cheers from the crowd and the hoots of my mom from a distance.

  There would be no graduation party filled with family afterward. My mom had to work, and there wasn’t extra cash to pay for a party. I understood and had enough to do that evening to fill the time and celebrate. Scott’s family was throwing a party, followed by a party for all his friends, without the older crowd to bring us down.

  My friends and I gathered in front of the school after throwing our caps in the air. Our parents took pictures of us as a group; none of us knew how close we’d be after high school. They were going off to college all over the country while I’d stay home to work and figure out my future. We still had the summer to party and hangout, but I knew shit would change soon enough, and I’d be left behind.

  I had a mission for the evening of graduation—Mindy. I’ve liked her for years, and she hardly noticed me, but tonight that would change. She left for college two years ago, and I’ve changed and grown into a man during her absence. She’d be mine tonight… paybacks are a bitch.

  I strolled into Scott’s backyard shortly after nine, and the party was already in full-swing. The family had cleared out; a bonfire was roaring in the middle of the yard, and people were everywhere. I found Scott in his usual spot, dispensing drinks.

  “Dude, can you believe it’s all fucking over?” he asked handing me a drink.

  “I thought this day would never come.” I sipped the beer letting it run down my throat. “The last couple of months fucking sucked. I’m ready for whatever’s next,” I said.

  “I can’t wait to get out of this shit hole town and head off to Chicago for school. I can’t believe I got into Northwestern,” he said with a smile.

  “I’m happy for you. Maybe I’ll come out and see you sometime. It’s going to be weird without you here, though,” I said my smile dropping with the thought.

  “I’m sorry, Kayden. I keep forgetting you’re not going off to school like the rest of us. What happened to you is not right, dude, just not fucking right. You would have been offered a full scholarship,” he said with a sincere look on his fa
ce. Scott’s my best friend and I’d be forgotten and replaced within months of his departure.

  “Scott, don’t be sad for me. I’ll make it and figure shit out,” I said slapping him on the back. “This is a night of celebration, and I see your sister is here.” I motioned with my head in her direction.

  “Yeah, but she’s still the same miserable bitch she’s always been,” he said with a sour look.

  “Well at least you’re not going to the same school, you’ll rarely see her.”

  “You got that shit right. She’ll get hers, that nasty bitch,” he said taking a swig of the beer he’d been fidgeting with during our conversation. Scott and Mindy always had a tumultuous relationship. She treated him like shit since he was little. She never got over the fact that their parents fawned over Scott; he was the golden child, the one who would carry on the family name. He was lavished with love and affection, and Mindy became more miserable over time. Scott never felt her absence when she left for college.

  I casually walked towards Mindy; she sat on a log near the fire talking with friends and laughing. I kept my eyes on her waiting for her to notice me. I knew she would notice me, but maybe not recognize me, at first. Her eyes zeroed in and locked on me when I was within ten feet of her.

  “Hey,” she said with her mouth hanging open in shock.

  “Hi… Mindy, right?” I said. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing her name. She looked over my entire body slowly eyeing me with her mouth still open.

  “Kayden?” she asked in a voice that showed her disbelief.

  “Yes,” I said giving her a devilish smile and winking at her. My one and only target tonight was her. She’d get what I wanted to give, but it was more about taking it from her.

  “Ladies, this is Kayden, my brother’s friend. Move over and make some room for him.” Mindy shooed them with her hands and the girls all shifted, moving away. I sat down and made sure my thigh touched hers. “You look great, Kayden.” She licked her lips after saying my name. I knew I’d get what I wanted. I could see the lust in her eyes.

  “Thanks, Mindy. You look beautiful, as usual,” I said. I leaned over pretending to fix something on my shoe, and as I started to sit up, I brushed the skin on her ankle with my fingers. I could see her body react out of the corner of my eye. Yeah, I had her. “How’s school? What are you studying, again?”

  “It’s good. I’m studying fashion design at the Art Institute. I have two more years before I can finally break into the field. I’ve been…” I tuned out at this point. She may have been beautiful, but she’s boring as fuck and totally self-absorbed. “What are you going to do, Kayden?”

  “I have an interview with a cell phone company to be a salesman,” I replied. I was excited for the chance to work in sales. I knew it could be a lucrative career; cell phones were becoming popular, and I knew it was the next big thing – something everyone would have to have.

  “They’re too pricey for me, maybe when I make it big in the fashion industry… Maybe you can hook me up,” she said.

  “I’d love to hook up with you.” I wink at her and redness filled her cheeks.

  I sat with Mindy and her friends for a while and let them talk about college and the parties they attended. As Mindy spoke, she touched my arm, eventually holding on to my bicep. I flexed it a couple of times, and her grip would increase slightly. The rest of the girls slowly grew bored and left until it was just the two of us.

  “Want to go somewhere a little more private?” I asked, slyly grinning at her.

  “I’d love to,” she said.

  I didn’t waste a moment; I stood up and helped her to her feet. “Where ya wanna go, babe?” I asked.

  “Let’s go in the woods; it’s dark and private,” she said as she began to walk in that direction. She was a little eager by the speed in which she moved.

  I grabbed her by the wrist. “Not so fast, walk slower so we don’t draw so much attention.” I placed my finger tips on the bare skin of her back. She wore a cute little belly shirt and jean shorts.

  “You’re right, I wasn’t thinking.” From what I knew of Mindy, she rarely ever had a thought that didn’t involve material possessions or her vanity. We passed by a shed that was nestled only a couple of feet in the woods. Her parents kept all the power tools to keep the yard neat and tidy in the small wooden building.

  “Let’s go behind the shed… more privacy,” I said, moving my eyebrows up and down. She didn’t respond verbally, but she turned around with a smile and walked behind the shed. She faced me, waiting. I grabbed her by the back of the neck and stared into her eyes. “You want me?”

  “Yes,” she said all breathy filled with longing and placed her hand on my hip. “More than anything right now.”

  I crushed my lips to hers, smashing her body into the back of the shed. I grabbed her lip with my teeth and sucked it into my mouth, running my tongue along the smooth sweet skin. She moaned from the sensation becoming limp beneath my hands. I placed my leg between her knees, forcing them apart. I moved my knee up slowly making contact with her sweet spot. I could hear her breathing change and her body twitched. I ravaged her mouth, searching it with my tongue as if looking for a lost treasure. I’d kissed plenty of girls over the last four years; I had this shit down pat. I pulled her body into mine, increasing the pressure she felt against my leg.

  Her hands gripped my shoulders, her nails digging into my skin. I slowly moved my hand from her naked back to her smooth stomach. I could feel goose bumps break out across her skin. I placed my hand against her ribs and brushed my thumb against the underside of her breast—she didn’t have on a bra. I increased the pressure and stroke of my thumb as my kiss grew deeper and more demanding. I waited to see if she’d tell me to stop, but she only gave in more, moving into my touch. She sucked my tongue into her mouth scraping her teeth against it as I drew it back into my mouth. My cock grew hard and my balls tingled at the sensation. I wanted to feel my cock in her mouth, buried balls deep down her throat. I cupped her breast running the tip of my thumb across her nipple as I moved my knee out, dragging it across her skin. The friction of her jeans and my knee caused a moan louder than I wanted to escape.

  I broke the kiss, “Shhh, Mindy,” I said as I placed my finger against her lips.

  “Sorry, it felt so good and I want you so bad, Kayden.”

  “Suck my cock, and I’ll give you more than you can handle,” I said tilting my head waiting for an answer. I didn’t need words. The full moon helped illuminate her face, and I could see her pupils were dilated, and she was ready to give me what I wanted.

  She shifted and I removed my leg, letting her feet touch the ground. She dropped to her knees without a word of protest. “Unzip me,” I said. She looked up at me, surprised by the tone in my voice; it was a demand and not a suggestion. Her fingers fumbled with my zipper before sliding it down slowly. “Pull down my pants slightly, Mindy.” Her fingertips touched my side as she reached inside my jeans to slide them down my leg. As the jeans moved partially down my thigh, my cock sprang free. The look on her face was priceless. It didn’t even come close to matching the look when she saw me tonight. In this moment, she looked scared at my size. “You can do it, Mindy. Look how hard I am for you, how much I want you.”

  She palmed it in her hands barely able to touch her finger tips together. She timidly licked the tip as if checking the flavor of a lollipop. My cock was like a Tootsie Roll pop; I had a surprise for her after we found out how many licks it took to get to the center or my end. She drew her tongue back into her mouth, looking up at me probably hoping I’d change my mind. I shifted my hips moving my cock closer to her, giving her the hint or encouragement she needed to continue.

  She opened her mouth and moved towards my cock, placing it against her lips. I stared down at her. I could see her breasts through her top and her blond hair moving in the breeze. I waited years to feel her lips on my body, and I knew I wouldn’t last long. The warmth of her mouth envelop
ed me, causing an uncontrollable shudder to run down my body. She slowly moved her lips up and down my cock, never deep enough to tap the back of her throat. I ran my fingers through her blond hair, playing with it, tangling it between my digits. She grabbed a little tighter with her hand making sure to use it as a barrier not to take me too deep. I stood there, feet planted shoulder width apart and became lost in the ecstasy. This obviously wasn’t her first blow job; she knew the tricks. I let her work my cock for few minutes, enjoying the softness of her tongue on the sweet spot underneath. I wanted deeper; I wanted to possess her mouth… wanted to fuck her face.

  “No hands, Mindy. Put them on your knees,” I said. Her eyes shot up at me in a question without words with my cock still in her mouth. I was so close to coming from the innocent look in her eye, but I needed to control her. Her hand slipped off my cock, and she placed them both on her knees. I gripped her hair and began to move—slow at first, giving her a sense of security and false comfort. The tighter my body grew, the tighter my fingers gripped her hair, moving back towards her crown to give me better control. I pulled her by her hair, moving my hips forward causing my tip to tap the back of her throat. I withdrew quickly, hoping I didn’t scare her off. I did it again, but this time, I jammed it as far down her throat as I could. She gagged, and I could feel her throat muscles close against my cock as she tried to breathe and swallow. I pulled it out again granting her a moment of reprieve.

  “That feels so good, baby,” I said in reassurance before repeating the movement. Drool ran out of her mouth and glistened on her chin. Every time my cock was buried in her mouth, her eyes would bulge out in shock, but she never said stop or made any motion for me to do so. My legs began to tremble as my balls tightened and my cock grew larger, more rigid in her wet sweet mouth. I let go of her hair letting her control the pace and depth. “I’m so close,” I said giving her a warning, “I want to come in your mouth.”