Guilty Sin Read online

  Watching a woman come, especially Alese, was the most beautiful thing in the world. Knowing I could do that to her was the biggest head trip in the world. She was mine entirely…mind, body, and soul. Every orgasm she had was because of me, and mine belonged to her.

  * * *

  When I woke in the morning, I rolled to my side to find the bed empty and Alese nowhere in sight. Last night, she’d received her three orgasms, deserving every single one of them. Many women in her shoes would’ve bitched me out for bringing another woman into our home. But my Alese, she had a heart as big as her libido. I’d move heaven and earth for her if it meant she’d be happy.

  I slung my legs over the bed, leaning forward and yawning. The late night wouldn’t help me focus today, and I knew the office would be a flurry of activity, especially after the shit that went down with the Halsteads.

  A few minutes later, the sound of voices drew me downstairs. When I walked into the kitchen, Nya sat on a stool across the counter from Alese as she danced across the tile floor, singing into a spatula, wearing one of my old T-shirts.

  When our eyes locked, she didn’t stop her performance either. She swayed her hips to the beat, belting out lyrics about love and staring at me as if she’d written the song just for me. I didn’t dare interrupt as I made my way around the counter and kissed her on the cheek before grabbing a coffee cup because it was entirely too early to be that energetic.

  As Alese screeched out the final line, holding the very last note longer than necessary, Nya clapped wildly as she rose to her feet, giving Alese a standing ovation. “That was perfect. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard something so beautiful.”

  “You need to listen to more music,” I said as I poured the coffee into my cup, barely able to see straight.

  “Don’t listen to him.” Alese swatted my ass playfully, earning herself a warning glance. “He’s always a little grumpy in the morning.”

  “I hope I didn’t keep you two up too late,” Nya said, clearly unaware of the real cause of my sleepiness.

  “Nah. We’re night owls. Anyway, he’ll be fine after he has coffee. It takes him a little while to join the living.”

  I leaned against the counter and watched them over the rim of the mug. Nya returned to her stool as Alese finally started to stir the hash browns, which were on the verge of becoming cinders because she was more concerned about her performance than their meal.

  “So, do you want to go shopping today?” Alese glanced back at Nya.

  Nya sighed and sagged against the counter as her brown hair spilled forward. “Yeah, but…”

  “There’s no buts about it, missy. We need to get you some clothes because my hand-me-downs aren’t going to cut it.” Alese smacked Nya’s ass with her free hand and laughed. “Unless you’re going to gain twenty pounds in a hurry.”

  “If she’s eating your cooking, it’ll never happen.”

  Alese turned to me, her blue eyes wide and wild, but we both knew she was a shitty cook. Somehow, she was even worse than Fran, and that crap was hard to pull off. It was like she purposely sabotaged every meal so I’d stop asking her to feed me. Luckily for me, my time in the military had dulled my palate to the point that I could eat sand if it filled my belly.

  “I can’t believe you just said that.” Alese gawked at me as Nya giggled, covering her mouth with her hand.

  That was the first time I saw a relaxed Nya, a little carefree and step closer back to the girl she probably had been before Diego got his hands on her. I don’t know if it was me or maybe Alese’s infectious playfulness that put her at ease, but in that moment, I knew I’d made the right choice. By surrounding herself with happy people, accepting people, she’d have an easier time sliding back into society than in the hands of her judgmental parents, no matter how many antipsychotic drugs they pumped her with.

  I glanced at Nya as I slid my coffee cup along the counter. “You’ll understand after you have her ‘world-famous’ hash browns.”

  “I’m going to stop cooking for you,” Alese threatened, bumping me with her hip as she handed Nya a plate of her very well done and totally dry breakfast.

  “Baby.” I wrapped my arm around Alese’s waist and pulled her against me. “Make me that promise again.” She smacked me as I laughed. “I’m playing. I love your cooking.”

  That was the biggest lie I’d ever told in our relationship. Everything else I was truthful with her about, but when it came to her cooking, I just couldn’t see the hurt in her eyes. She tried. God, how she tried to cook, but it didn’t matter what she made, she fucked it up to the best of her ability.

  “Good because I’m making your favorite.”

  Oh, shit. “My favorite” was really the worst thing in her entire repertoire. It was some sort of dried-out casserole, barely edible, and needed to be choked down with two beers.

  “I could help,” Nya said quickly. “I used to be a good cook.” She pushed her food around the plate, suddenly sad. Maybe it was the used to part that made her happiness evaporate, but I saw the change just as Alese did.

  “That would be great, but only if you want to. I could always use an extra pair of hands. We’ll stop at the grocery store after we go to the mall.”

  “I’d like to feel that I’m contributing in some way.”

  I prayed that her version of cooking was better than Alese’s. Hell, if it was even just a little better, maybe I could convince Alese to let Nya cook just so she felt useful. Maybe the work would help Nya regain some confidence. I didn’t know what I was thinking, but I was willing to try anything to help her find herself again.

  6

  Nya

  “Let me see.” Alese sat outside the dressing room as I changed into another outfit. She’d picked out easily thirty different items, and I didn’t know how to process so many choices or even what was in style anymore.

  I wanted a few pieces of comfortable clothes…nothing flashy or expensive. I didn’t care to wear anything too revealing or formfitting, but Alese had other plans. She said I had to get at least five outfits and two pairs of shoes before we could leave the mall. I didn’t really know how she expected me to pay for anything. I hadn’t had a chance to get a new copy of my credit card or any identification since Diego had destroyed mine when he’d decided to keep me.

  I stepped out of the dressing room in a pair of skinny jeans and a tank top with a built-in bra for support. I felt a little like my old self again, even if the jeans were tighter than I was used to wearing. After a few months of no clothes, material of any kind felt weird against my skin, almost suffocating, but I couldn’t very well walk around naked without having my ass thrown in jail for public nudity.

  Alese stared at me, tapping her chin before she motioned with two fingers for me to twirl in a circle. I turned slowly and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. When I’d graduated from college, I was a size ten, comfortable with my body and with a rock-hard plump ass I had worked hard to get.

  But Diego fed me very little, restricting my food when he felt I didn’t behave or react the way he wanted. Which, based on my flat ass and the hip bones peeking out below the hem of my tank top, happened more times than not. He was a sick bastard. I’d known I had to get away. Every day I’d planned my escape, waiting for him to fuck up, but the bastard was too calculating to let that happen.

  “I look like an anorexic.” I pushed on my hips, wishing I could get my bones to be not quite as visible, but only calories would do that. “I want my body back.”

  “Honey.” Alese walked toward me and came to a stop behind me, her blue eyes finding mine in the mirror. “You’re beautiful no matter what size you are. You want to go bigger and better? I’m down with that.”

  “I just want my old life back.” Suddenly, I felt a mix of anger and sadness, unsure which one was more overwhelming. Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the waif in the mirror, all skin and bones with no ass or tits.

  Alese slowly moved closer and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Oh, Nya. I’m so sorry, love. I’ll do anything to make things better.”

  Tears filled my eyes because her tenderness was almost as unbearable as my sadness. No one besides Ret had shown me an ounce of compassion or caring in months, and I wasn’t sure how to process the emotions that came with it. With Diego, I knew how to handle his anger…how to tap out of reality and let my mind drift to a faraway place, practically bringing on an out-of-body experience. But sweetness was something I forgot how to handle.

  “Don’t cry, love.”

  I wiped my cheeks, sniffling back the others that threatened to fall. I was not this girl. I had never been a crier. Rarely did I ever let Diego see me affected by his actions. I cried the first week he held me captive, but I quickly learned my tears were futile. He loved my tears, basically got off on my sadness, and that’s when I learned sorrow was a meaningless emotion that only fueled his lust for me.

  “Tears are useless,” I whispered when she didn’t let go of me.

  “No, they aren’t. Don’t ever feel that way. When you’re sad, cry. When you’re mad, I’ll take you to kickboxing so you don’t break my shit.”

  I turned to face her, and she finally released her arms from around my waist. “I don’t really get mad, Alese.”

  “You will, Nya. You’re going to go through a process now that you’ve regained your freedom after what Diego did to you. You’re going to be sad, then angry, then maybe you’ll want revenge. Your healing will be in stages and not overnight. If you want to cry, cry. I’ll get the wine, and we can cry together.”

  “What do you have to cry about?”

  She placed her hands on my shoulders and gazed into my eyes with a sweet, sorrowful smile. “I’ll cry with and for you. For your loss of innocence. For your loss of trust. For your loss of time. There’s so many reasons I’d cry with you. Imagine all the women still trapped in a situation like you were in, but without anyone who bothered to look for them.”

  “I’m grateful to my parents for hiring someone to track me down, but I can’t be with them. Does that make me a horrible human being?”

  “It doesn’t.”

  “Thank God. I have enough baggage to deal with on top of everything.”

  “Nya.” Alese held out her arms like she wanted to hug me, but she didn’t step forward. “Can I?”

  Alese was one of those people who just threw off good vibes. It was hard not to like her. Hard not to find her energy infectious and her carefree attitude calming when everything around me felt foreign. “You may,” I told her, but I moved my arms around her first.

  She embraced me, gently at first, again careful not to set off any triggers. I tightened my hold on her, almost tethering myself to her body as I placed my head on her shoulder. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt something besides fear when someone touched me. Never had a hug meant so much even when it was such an inconsequential gesture that I wouldn’t have thought twice about before.

  We stood there holding each other for a few minutes. I almost cried again, but I fought back the tears because I didn’t want Alese to think I was upset. I wasn’t. I felt joy, comfort, peacefulness as I stood in her arms with my eyes closed.

  “Can I help you ladies?” the saleswoman asked, interrupting our moment.

  “We’re fine. We’ll take everything,” Alese replied and tightened her hold when I tried to wiggle free.

  “Fabulous.” The saleswoman was beyond excited to hear the news.

  “You can’t,” I said, feeling a little uncomfortable that she was going to foot the bill for all the clothes I had tried on.

  “Shh.” She gave me a hardened stare. “Everything.”

  “I’ll pay you back,” I whispered.

  “Cook this week, and we’ll call it even.”

  I gawked at her, confused by the offer. “That’s not fair.”

  “Seriously. I hate to cook. I keep making things worse and worse, hoping Ret will take over, but he never does. He just keeps eating the burned shit like it’s the best damn thing he’s ever put in his mouth.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “You do it on purpose?”

  She raised an eyebrow, waving her hands in front of her pristine outfit, straight down to her designer pumps. “Do I look domestic?”

  “Well.” I stepped back, taking in her beauty. Alese was drop-dead gorgeous with lush curves and no sharp edges. Her long blond hair was swept over her shoulder, half pulled back in a braid that looked like something out of a fashion magazine. “You definitely don’t look like a boring housewife. I’m super jealous.”

  Even her makeup was on point, something I’d never been able to pull off. I was a chick, but I sucked at anything girlie. Who knew that was even possible? But somehow, I lacked any skills when it came to makeup and hair. I watched hundreds of online tutorials, which made that shit look easy, but every time, I came out looking more like a train wreck than a runway model.

  “I will teach you all my skills. We have the clothes. Now we just need your hair and makeup.”

  I pulled at the messy braid I’d attempted before we’d walked out the door. Pieces stuck out, making it look like more of a mess than an actual style. Trying on clothes, repeatedly pulling things over my head, didn’t help the situation either.

  “I’m a disaster,” I mumbled as I started to walk back to my dressing room.

  “Don’t say that. You’re a knockout.”

  My insides warmed with her compliment. It had been too long since I’d heard anything nice said about me. I was never the type of person who needed the affirmation, but after months of listening to Diego tell me I was a worthless piece of trash, hearing the opposite was more than nice… It was exactly what I needed to feel a little more human.

  I glanced at her over my shoulder, smiling as she stood near the mirror with her hands resting on her hips. “Thanks, Alese.”

  She nodded once and shooed me toward the dressing room. “Go get changed. We have a long day ahead of us.”

  * * *

  I tossed and turned for the fifth time before I threw off the covers and moved my legs over the side of the bed, unable to sleep for the second night in a row. Spending the day with Alese made me feel more alive than I had in a long time, but it didn’t keep the nightmares at bay.

  Every time I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep, I’d see Diego’s face and startle awake. My heart beat erratically, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. I stayed awake until I was so exhausted I practically passed out.

  I peered around the dimly lit bedroom, thankful for the night-light Alese gave me yesterday. I told her I wasn’t sure I could sleep, and she thought it would be the best way to make me feel a little safer instead of lying in the darkness. She was right, it did help, but not enough to make sleep come any easier.

  I padded across the floor carefully, turning the handle of the door slowly to avoid waking up Alese or Ret. They’d already done so much for me, and I didn’t want to disturb them more than I already had.

  I glanced down the hallway, making sure the coast was clear before I stepped outside my room. The guest bedroom was at the end of the hallway, which was lined with doors to an office and the master suite.

  The house seemed small yet perfect, compared to the compound Diego owned. I remembered the first time I walked into his mansion before he decided to keep me. I thought he lived like royalty, and I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to have that much money.

  I grew up a privileged child. My parents had more money in the bank than they knew what to do with, but they didn’t spend it on palatial mansions, opting to hoard as much as possible for God knows what. There was a difference between being wealthy and being rich. My parents were wealthy, but Diego was filthy rich. A man with his bank account didn’t have to be bothered with anything, including the law, and I knew that firsthand.

  A tiny beam of light shone from the doorway of their bedroom. At first, I scurried past the cracked door, but I backed up a step when I heard Alese’s voice.

  Curiosity got the better of me as I peered in through the small opening. Ret sat on the foot of the bed with Alese across his lap, naked and with her hands bound. Ret held the rope between his fingers, stopping Alese from falling over, while his other hand glided across the bare skin of her ass.

  I touched the handle, ready to rush in to save her, until she lifted her face and a smile played on her lips.

  “What did I tell you about that, piccola?” Ret asked, his hand still sweeping across her skin in circles. “Have you learned your lesson yet?”

  “I’m sorry, Sir.”

  He raised his hand, and I held my breath. “You didn’t answer my question, little one.”

  She bucked wildly as his hand came down against her ass, raising her head as her feet kicked in the air. I gasped, shocked to see Ret be so harsh with her after everything I’d witnessed the last two days.

  I couldn’t move. It was like my feet were glued to the floor. I knew I shouldn’t be watching. I knew I should’ve run back to my room and sealed myself inside, but I couldn’t, no matter how many times I told myself to go.

  “I learned. I learned,” she called out, closing her eyes as his hand went back to her ass, but this time to soothe the skin he’d just battered.

  He stared down at her and loosened his grip on the ropes around her wrists for a moment, but I couldn’t see his eyes. “You love to be spanked, don’t you?”

  She nodded, and he jerked the ropes. “Yes, Sir. I love when you spank me.”

  I gasped for air, forgetting that I hadn’t been breathing because I’d been so engrossed in the scene playing out before me.

  “Are you wet, my sweet?”

  “I’m always wet for you, Master.”

  His hand drifted between her legs as a low hum came from his throat, and Alese stilled in his lap. She moaned as his hand disappeared. My insides convulsed, a small piece of the sexuality I once felt returning.

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